Image credit: Image Credit: Michael Yarish/CBS
THE ROBFATHER Rob went all out for an immunity he didn't even need
Mike's mom is then brought out and although she claims her name is Jane, I'm pretty sure it is Suze Orman. Mike thinks he's off to hang with Mommy, but of course there is a twist. According to Probst, Mike can "forgo your own love with your mom" — is it just me, or does that sound creepy and vaguely remind you of Colby and his mom sleeping in the back of a truck? — and let Matt and Ralph have time with their loved ones instead. Or he can allow the Ometepe six to spend time with their families. It's an easy choice. In this situation you have to play the percentages and pick Ometepe, hoping that your selfless gesture of kindness might win you a jury vote or two should you make it to the end. And that’s exactly what Mike does, although he claims it is due to his Bible readings and desire to "love your brother like you love yourself." Whether that's true, or another strategic vote to also curry favor with Bible-loving Matt, is open to debate, but either way, it is the right move. "Thanks, Mike," Ometepe says. "You're welcome," he replies. "Don't vote me out again." Which, of course, they would.
Back at Murlonio, the contestants are showing their visitors their swanky pad. Natalie's mom talks about praying for her daughter, and this makes Natalie cry for the 18th time this episode. Later, as Natalie is recalling the moment, she cries again! Phillip decides to explain the game to his sister, saying, "This is a social game. I'm prepared to go crazy if I have to." Wait, crazy? Isn't that racist? I'm so confused. Rob definitely must be racist because he calls Phillip a "nutjob" and then talks about how he's playing every single person in the game. "Grant thinks it’s me and him. Natalie thinks it's me and her. All they have to do is talk to each other. But they won't."
He's probably right. But why not win immunity just in case? Which is exactly what Rob does at the challenge. This is an example of a contest that is both simple and, yes, epic at the same time. In 110-degree Nicaraguan heat, the contestants must collect puzzle pieces and use them to construct steps to make a giant staircase. Once the contest begins, it is only a matter of time until Jeff Probst utters those magic words: "Natalie having no luck at all figuring out puzzle steps." It is also only a matter of time until Rob wins, which he does after crawling to the finish line and then collapsing.
You may think that the tribe's adoration of Rob is most evident when they applaud his victory. Or you may think that adoration to be on full blast when they applaud him again upon returning to camp. But no, if there is one shot that perfectly encompasses just how much Rob lords it over the rest of the tribe, it is this: While Phillip is busy trying to take care of a pesky wasp, if you look in the background for just a split second, you can see Rob lounging in a chair while Ashley stands over him with scissors. To slit his throat? No! She is manscaping him! He actually has his harem grooming him now. Why not just feed him grapes while you're at it, Ashley? If that's not the most apt snapshot of the entire season, I don't know what is.
NEXT: Everyone thinks they're safe. SUCKERS!