'Survivor' season finale recap: Friends... to the End?

· Am I the only person that misses when they used to dress the final two contestants up like they were still on the island even while they read the final votes back here in the United States? I always thought it was funny seeing them having put back on tons of weight and all cleaned up, yet in their same gnarly island-wear.

· I believe that to be a real lie detector test about as much as I believe Joan Rivers deserved to win Celebrity Apprentice, which is to say, not at all. But I will say this: If Coach Wade were to take a real test, I actually think he might pass it, because it's like George Costanza used to say on Seinfeld — ''Just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.'' And I think Coach honestly believes the wildly entertaining crap he spews.

· I don't exactly get Probst's question to Coach's ''lady friend'': ''Dragon Slayer doesn't make it into the bedroom or does he?'' Much like I don’t quite get her response of ''Actually, I slay the dragon.'' So, what, you cut off his penis during sex? Is that what you're saying, Miss Lady Friend? Because that is some kinky Indian Viking Samurai type stuff you're talking about right there. In fact, I tried to Google it just now but nothing came up, and I could have sworn the Internet had every sort of nasty fetish covered a million times over. It must be passed down verbally. Oh, and when I say ''passed down verbally'' I'm not referring to anything that may or may not be taking place in the bedroom and that may or may not involve ''dragons.''

· Of course, J.T. was going to win the 100 grand from fans. If I had been in the country (which I wasn't) or cared enough to vote (which I didn't), I would have voted for Coach. He deserves at least that much money for saving what would have been an absolute dud of a season without him.

· Sooooo, judging by our first look of Survivor: Samoa, contestants are going to be hunted down, murdered, and eaten for breakfast by a tribe of tattooed natives. You know, I think something like that actually almost happened to Coach once...

Okay, we're nearing the end, folks. Seeing as how I just got back from vacation in Europe and it's now 7 a.m. here, I'm kinda on the loopy side so I hope this made at least a little sense. Before you sign offSurvivor until September, a few things: Make sure to check out our exclusive deleted scene from last night's episode below, as jury member Debbie shares her thoughts entering the final Tribal Council. Also, check back later Monday or early Tuesday for Survivor Talk interviews with the entire final four. Is Taj still pissed at J.T. and Stephen? And whom would Stephen really have taken to the final two? We'll ask all of that and more. Okay, Survivor freaks. Time for me to go pass out. Thanks for joining me for another wild, rollercoaster ride. Together, we slayed so many freakin' dragons I lost count somewhere along the way. TV WATCH WARRIOR ALLIANCE 4EVA!!! Now go get postin' on the message boards. Did J.T. deserve to win? Do you believe that was a real lie detector test? And what the hell's with Tyson's reunion moustache? See ya in September!

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