'Survivor' recap: Debbie Does Math... Badly

1. Survivor: Borneo (Winner: Richard Hatch)
Think back to when this show first came on the air — and how we had never seen anything like it. It will never be able to duplicate that sense of wonder and excitement...

2. Survivor: Micronesia — Fans Vs. Favorites (Winner: Parvati Shallow)
…although this one came damn close. It wasn’t just the most insane 4-episode-run in Survivorhistory (with Ozzy, Jason, and Erik all getting blindsided, and then Amanda pulling out one last hidden immunity idol). It was also great characters (Chet and Joel are the 21st century odd couple) and the perfect mix of solid and stupid gameplay.

3. Survivor: Amazon (Winner: Jenna Morasca)
Probably the most unpredictable season ever. Some people hate on Morasca as a winner, but she won challenges and played a great social game.

4. Survivor: Pearl Islands (Winner: Sandra Diaz-Twine)
Rupert stealing shoes. Fairplay getting drunk at Tribal Council. Osten sucking at everything. It was all delicious. Loses points, though, for the awful Outcasts twist, which also led to a disappointing final two.

5. Survivor: Palau (Winner: Tom Westman)
I loved watching one tribe decimate the other. And the challenges may have been Survivor’s best ever. Remember back when everyone loved Stephenie? My how things change.

6. Survivor: Marquesas (Winner: Vecepia Towery)
An underrated season that saw the first totem pole shake-up: where people on the bottom got together to overthrow those on the top. Yes, it was a weak final two, but it also had a woman peeing on a guy’s hand. Purple rock!!!

7. Survivor: Cook Islands (Winner: Yul Kwon)
What a difference a mutiny makes. It was listless until that fateful moment when Candice and Penner stepped off the mat. Then, we finally had underdogs to root for. The Tribal Council fire-making tiebreaker between Sundra and Becky may be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

8. Survivor: Australia (Winner: Tina Wesson)
An overrated season. Probst loves it. I didn’t. Solid but unspectacular. Pretty predictable boot order as well. Dude did burn his hands off, though.

9. Survivor: China (Winner: Todd Herzog)
Really good cast. Kinda blah location.

10. Survivor: Tocantins (Winner: ???)
Okay, you may hate Coach. But imagine for a second this season without him. Bo-ring! His unintentional comedy single-handedly lifts this into the top 10. Seriously, other than Tyson getting blindsided, have there been any memorable moments that didn't involve the Steven Seagal wannabe. As of now, this season falls in the middle of the pack, although the last two episodes could move it up or down a few slots.

11. Survivor: All Stars (Winner: Amber Brkich)
Overall, a letdown, but man, were there some hate-fueled fireworks at those final few Tribal Councils. Plus: Best. Reunion Show. Ever.

12. Survivor: Panama (Winner: Aras Baskauskas)
Ah, just writing the word Panama gets me daydreaming about Survivor Sally and her intoxicating knee socks. Terry was robbed on a final challenge that may or may not have been completely fair.

13. Survivor: Gabon (Winner: Bob Crowley)
It got a bit better near the end, but it was still a case of too little, too late. The fact that so many unworthy players went so far is simply too damning.

14. Survivor: Africa (Winner: Ethan Zohn)
Some great challenges. Not that much else was great.

15. Survivor: Guatemala (Winner: Danni Boatwright)
One of the more unlikable casts so far. (Remember Judd? Jamie? Stephenie’s evil twin?) Rafe was good for a few laughs, though. Especially on rope obstacles.

16. Survivor: Vanuatu (Winner: Chris Daugherty)
I don’t blame producers: The battle of the sexes worked well the first time around.

17. Survivor: Thailand (Winner: Brian Heidik)
The fake merge and brutal last challenge (where the final three had to hold coins between their fingers in a crazy painful pose) keep this out of the bottom spot. Barely.

18. Survivor: Fiji (Winner: Earl Cole)
The season that we shall never speak of again.

There's my list. Feel free to tear it apart. Also make sure to post your own order (or at least your own faves and least faves). A few other programming notes: Jeff Probst is blogging his little heart out, as always, so go see his take on last night's episode. We'll be back with a new Survivor Talk. with Debbie that should be up sometime Friday afternoon. Until then, check out the latest exclusive deleted scene below. And how come I can't stop talking about Celebrity Apprentice? I have no idea! But you can hear (and see) me discussing the finale with Jessica Shaw on the most recent episode of Must List Live! Okay, that's it. Hit those message boards, people. And I'll be back for the finale. C ya!

[Sorry, video not available]

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