Survivor recap: Pop Goes the Final Four

Skupin goes on a soda binge as we move one step closer to the finale. Plus: Where does this season rank when compared to all the others?
Ep. 13 | Aired Dec 12, 2012

A HAIRY SITUATION Skupin and Lisa had a big decision in terms of whom to vote out.

Image Credit: CBS

Meanwhile, out on the Michael Skupin Pleasure Cruise, it seems our host has to turn in his thirty years clean and sober coin after indulging in the ultimate vice: pop. That’s right, Party Time Skupin is living it up after downing a few sodas. He’s climbing poles, putting on wacky hats, and, as Malcolm says “acting like a drunk chick in a bar.” (No word on if Malcolm scored his digits or not.) Naturally, the drunken bar fight comes next, only this bar fight takes place underwater and is in between Skupin and a giant whale shark, who proceeds to “head butt” his human opponent. (Watch out — whale sharks fight dirty!)

Once back on the boat, Malcolm takes advantage of a clearly dazed and over-caffeinated Skupes to lock in a final three deal. Whether Malcolm will actually honor this or is just looking for backdoor protection should Mike or Lisa win the final challenge is unclear. Either way, a deal that perhaps nobody plans to honor is struck.

The lucky trio finally returns back to camp and all seems back to normal. At least, that is…UNTIL THE VAMPIRE ATTACK!!! That’s right, Denise wakes up and says the entire right side of her neck is stinging. Not only that, but the woman has two bite marks on her neck. I have long promoted the idea of Zombie Survivor, but it seems as if producers have decided to go in a different direction when it comes to integrating a supernatural presence onto the show. Clearly Survivor is trying to cash in on the Twilight craze, not only casting a Taylor Lautner lookalike in Pete, but now actually allowing sexy, pasty-faced bloodsuckers to roam freely around the camp biting contestants at will.

I know what you’re thinking: why Denise? Well, Lisa and Skupin no doubt sleep clutching their crosses and jugs of holy water, so they were out of the question. Malcolm kind of looks like a half man, half beast at this point, so was too risky (perhaps Pete already turned him into a werewolf?). And Abi? Even vampires are scared of Abi. That left Denise, who uses her new super vampire blood to jump out to a big lead in the Immunity Challenge.

Ah yes, the Immunity Challenge. Gotta say, a little bummed to see yet another out-of-water challenge. I know the rainy weather scuttled a lot of water challenges for this season, but it’s still been disappointing to finally have a location that allows for underwater competitions yet find ourselves stuck on land or in super shallow water in almost all of them. Oh well. In this one, the players must move on planks across a rope bridge while collecting maze pieces along the way. Once they make it across, they must then assemble the maze and use a ball to complete it.

Malcolm falls off his bridge and thereby way behind while the others all get to work on their maze. Her reaction time boosted to Nosferatuian levels, Denise opens up a big lead, but the transformation to the undead is also taking a toll on her body, and this allows Malcolm to make a huge comeback and win an immunity he did not even need thanks to his hidden idol.

NEXT: Penner gives Abi the finger

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