However, the one thing Lisa will not do is lie to Jonathan’s face about it. She goes and explains to the one-time mutineer about how she tried to make a final four deal with him but he said no so they made one with Malcolm and Denise instead. Penner tells her that he’s pissed he’s now going home because he did not make empty promises, but deep down he has to know he screwed up big time. “My mistake, of course, was that I was playing both ends against the middle without making a commitment to anybody,” he tells us later during an interview session. “That was probably my mistake. I did not choose a side.” Gee, ya think? Don’t get me wrong, I love Penner. Which is what makes this rookie mistake from a savvy veteran all the more inexplicable. The only thing that could have made it any worse is if he wrote a love letter to Russell wrapped around a hidden immunity idol.
As for Lisa, she is a truly fascinating character in that she has been clearly struggling mightily with the act of voting off people she likes, yet she will not waver once she has pledged her loyalty. (She only left Abi & Pete after Abi had pretty much pushed her out face first and their alliance was a lost cause thanks to Skupin bolting.) So while Lisa may look weak for having such a difficult time emotionally with the process, she is resolute and strong in not wavering from the plan once it is made.
At Tribal Council, Penner makes the case that Lisa and Skupin stand no chance of beating Denise and Malcolm at the end. “If you do vote me out tonight, you will give a million dollars to one of these two people.” He may be right, but would they really stand a better chance against Penner? The guy is clearly liked and respected out there and seems able to make a compelling argument no matter what the scenario. That’s a scary person to be sitting next to in the finals. Plus, if Lisa puts Penner on the jury, there’s a good chance she gets his vote. Less so with Malcolm and Denise.
As for Skupin, he just thinks everyone is absolutely swell. “I can’t look at any one of these people and say I would not like to be great friends when this is all over,” he says, causing Abi’s eyes to practically roll out of her head. Clearly upset that her mortal enemy RC is getting all the attention for her over-exaggerated Tribal Council facial expressions, Abi continues by sticking her tongue out at Denise when the sex therapist goes up to vote. (Side note: Who actually sticks their tongue out at people, anymore? I mean who over the age of three? Perhaps this is one of the “culture differences” Probst kept alluding to last week. Either that, or, as I suspect, Abi has the maturity of a three year old.)
Oh, but Crabby Abi is far from done! “I hope you go home tonight,” she says while voting for Denise. “Look who’s judging you now.” With that, she dramatically slaps the parchment shut. Oops! One problem: The awkwardly folded paper now won’t fit in the urn. Instead of sticking her tongue out at the parchment or ripping it into a million pieces because it is — shocker of all shockers! — another fake clue to a fake hidden immunity idol, she instead just sorta lamely refolds it in the least badass way possible. The entire incident is the biggest cool-to-fool Tribal Council voting moment since former Girls Gone Wild cameraman “Benry” attempted to give himself a shout out before awkwardly knocking the parchment weight onto the ground.
NEXT: Skupin pretends like he can’t make up his mind