Image credit: Image Credit: CBS
AUCTIONING OFF SANITY Lisa and the others took their eyes off their prize when they saw food
Abi finally steals away to read her advantage note, and sure enough it is allowing her to skip straight to the final leg in another multi-stage competition. But only she knows that. So why not give herself some additional imaginary power to make the other contestants sweat a little bit? She decides to let on that it also has led her to the possession of a hidden immunity idol. Very smart idea. I applaud her for it. But that applause quickly dies out when I see the execution. Let’s just say that when it comes to acting, Meryl Streep this one is not.
Instead of playing it super coy and just dropping a single subtle hint and letting it percolate among the others, Abi basically comes right out and tells Malcolm she has the idol. Then, at the Immunity Challenge, she announces to the contestants that there are two parts to the note and that she is choosing to just read the first part about the challenge advantage before ripping up the note into tiny little pieces. Again, I love the intent, but hate the execution. Homegirl should have dialed down by about, oh, 88%. Give her points for trying though.
So the Immunity Challenge is broken up into three stages. Everyone is attached to a rope. The first five to get themselves over, under, and across a rail advance to stage two. Then, the first two to get through a series of bamboo poles go to the finals along with Abi. Oh, and if you miss a trivia question at the start of each round, you have to carry a bag filled with five percent of your body weight.
The finals begin with Carter (now carrying 10 pounds of weight) competing against Penner and Abi. But in case that foreshadowing comment by Denise in the first minute of the episode didn’t quite take, Skupin prognosticating that “She can’t win this. She can’t climb,” pretty much seals the deal that we are about to witness an Abi-Maria victory. But victory of what — untying little knots? Because that’s all that stage three appears to be. Instead of using athletic ability to scurry over and under things as quickly as possible, it’s basically just the three players standing there and opening rope gates tied together. Wow, even re-reading that last sentence just made me emit a yawn of epic proportions. Bo-Ring.
Denise is not too pleased with it either, especially after Abi wins immunity. “I wanna throw up,” says the therapist. Oh, you mean throw up the bacon and pancakes you paid $500 for, which then allowed Abi to purchase the advantage unopposed thereby giving her immunity? How appropriate. By all means, go right ahead! Maybe you can even check the Survivor Food Auction Return Policy and see if you can get your $500 back. Because it will do you so much good right now.
Once back at the beach, the final four alliance of Malcolm, Denise, Skupin, and Lisa wisely target Penner for ouster. Honestly, I’m not even sure they know what Carter’s name is, so they don’t really have a choice unless they want to write things like “Blond Guy Who Talks Real Slow” or “Blond Guy Who Doesn’t Talk at All” down on their parchment. But Lisa is having a tough time voting off her fellow thespian. “It’s too big for me,” says Lisa of playing a game that forces you to backstab your best buddy. (You’d think she would have plenty of experience doing just that after working in Hollywood, but whatevs.)
NEXT: Lisa turns on the tears, but won’t turn on her alliance