At this point, the season is effectively over. Cochran has it in the bag. And he knows it: “I, Cochran, have won four individual challenges. So right now I’m thinking, okay I got the million. The big question now is who deserves $100,000 and second place.” Cocky? Yes. Accurate. Yes. “The battle for second place is a really heated one,” he continues. “And I can’t wait to see what happens. It’s so lonely at the top.” (Evidently Arlene Cochran did not dispense the same advice as Raymond Lowe to “be humble.”)
Cochran has to figure out whom he wants to beat in the finals. Sherri is a given because nobody is going to vote for Sherri, so now JC has to decide “Do I want to bring Dawn and her constant emotional outbursts, or Eddie, a chauvinistic 23-year-old idiot?” As much as Eddie tries to sell Cochran on bringing him (his actual selling point is “I’m an idiot”), John knows that Dawn is the smart play.
This is awful news for Eddie, who will now see his dreams for the cash completely dashed. Just listen to the plan he had in store for the money: “If I do win the million dollar prize I want to open, like, a dog kinda like shelter kennel playpen area, like attached to a bar. Like, those are my two favorite things. I like dogs and I like bars, so if I can open a bar, and, like, you just bring your dog there, that would be unbelievable.” I agree — unbelievable is the perfect word to describe that plan. Poor Eddie. I think he was truly onto something here. After all, as I tweeted last night, you can’t spell "bark" without the word "bar." Just sayin’…
They go to Tribal Council, which turns into Dawn and Eddie both making a case for how horrible they each are and how Cochran would be crazy not to bring their lame asses to the final Tribal. Sherri takes a completely different tactic and starts talking about how great she is and how she can totally win! Lucky for her, nobody believes the woman, and self-proclaimed idiot Eddie is voted out.
This leaves us 24 more hours until Cochran is crowned champion, no matter how much doubt he professes to have creeping in after his Day 39 celebration feast. The show doesn’t waste a lot of time here so neither will I. Let’s just head straight to the final Tribal.
We begin with opening statements. Dawn has no shot at winning, but she does a solid job with her words here, addressing head-on the fact that she voted out friends by saying “I had to give myself permission to play the game,” which meant exploiting personal connections if necessary. That’s smart. Never hide from what you did. Sherri goes next and is as bad as Dawn was good. She talks about how she owns a successful business and has 75 employees, because telling everyone how successful you are in life is totally going to make people want to hand you a million dollars. Andrea looks like she wants to stab Sherri at this point while super facially demonstrative Reynold keeps scrunching up his nose.
The ladies’ only hope is that Cochran completely screws the pooch — hopefully not at Eddie’s bar, though — in his final Tribal performance, but it’s not going to happen. “I’ve lied along the way,” he says. I’ve deceived along the way. And I’m proud of it. And I want to own it. I want to prove why I played the best game.” Because he made no strong personal connections like Dawn did, he can say this and people will embrace it.
NEXT: I’ve got three adjectives to describe Reynold