Survivor season finale recap: A Finale You Can Sink Your Teeth Into

After a shocking Tribal Council request, the most deserving player emerges victorious
Ep. 14 | Aired May 12, 2013

'IT IS TIME TO VOTE' And the most important one went Cochran's way.

CBS

He’s not talking about all the head-spinning blindsides, but his actual head feeling like it’s spinning. All of sudden Probst pops up Beetlejuice style as if someone has just summoned him by chanting his name three times, and the host brings in Dr. Joe and Dr. Jen to check on The Silent One. (Side Note: Do Survivor doctors not have last names? Their consistent lack of surnames has me wondering if these are even real doctors. Seriously, we’re about two seasons away from contestants receiving treatment from The Simpsons’ Dr. Nick: “Hi, everybody! I land on island! Get it! Oh, no! Blood!”)

“He’s in a starvation state,” says Dr. Joe, which is a bit curious seeing as how Erik has gone on several reward eating challenges. Regardless, he doesn’t look good, and I’m not just referring to his unfortunate island goatee. After taking Erik’s blood pressure, Dr. Joe votes the player out of the game: “Right now he’s going down and I don’t want him to go any further. I understand the risk and rewards in this game, but in this case, no, you’re not going.” Bam! Just like that, it’s over for Erik. Once again, he goes out fifth. I’m not sure which is more painful — becoming a national punchline for giving up your immunity or being pulled from a game for medical reasons with only three days left. They both suck.

Now comes the awkward part where everyone has to say goodbye and act sorry that Erik is leaving the game, when, in fact, they can’t help but be secretly thrilled that their chances of winning each just increased by 5 percent. It also gives the remaining contestants a chance to work the latest jury member for his vote. “I love you!” says Dawn, which is what she says to everyone right before they are sent out of the game. But Cochran takes it to a whole other level. “I don’t come out here to make friends,” he begins. “But I seriously made a friend in you. I wouldn’t have wanted to share this with anybody else.” Shockingly, nobody bursts out into laughter as this is being said.

Finally back at he beach, Eddie proves just how clueless he is when it comes to gameplay by announcing that not only does he think he can beat Cochran in the finals, but that the last one he wants to see at the end is Dawn. Doesn’t he realize that Dawn just kissed any chance she had of winning the million goodbye after blindsiding Brenda? No, of course, he doesn’t. I forgot. He’s Eddie. Speaking of which, can someone please get Eddie’s dog a beer?!?

We then head off to the reward challenge that was supposed to be an immunity challenge before Erik got medevaced. It’s one we have seen several variations of before, as the players use one hand to steady a balancing board while simultaneously building a house of cards with the other hand. First one to reach the finish mark wins. And what do they win? Has to be food, right? A little extra fuel heading into the most important competition of the season? Nope. Just like last season, it will be a huge advantage in the final immunity challenge. Okay, in a very calm and controlled manner, I am going to warn you that Angry Dalton is going to be appearing in just a manner of seconds. I would like to apologize in advance for anything Angry Dalton may say or do while he is in his state of rage, but he really cannot be held responsible for his actions. Oh, I hear him coming. He should be here in 3…2…1…

NEXT: The arrival of Angry Dalton

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