Survivor recap: Welcome to the Vomitorium

It’s the return of the Survivor food challenge, as well as a return to some good ol’ fashioned strategy talk of yesteryear
Ep. 08 | Aired Apr 3, 2013

"I'D KISS YOU, BUT I HAVE BALUT BREATH" Cochran and Andrea enjoy a little down time

Monty Brinton/CBS

But Phillip and Andrea aren’t the only ones talking. Corinne and Malcolm have their own pow-wow where they plan to make a new group of six with Eddie, Reynold, Erik, and Corinne’s gay. Their plan involves convincing the others to vote of Sherri, thereby giving their new group the numbers advantage, And then, Corinne says, “It’s blindside time.” (Could be sooner than you think!)

Tree mail arrives, but more important is what comes with it: the third in our favorite new weekly series: Wacky Dawn Meehan GIF of the Week! This week’s exciting edition features Dawn attempting to…Jesus, I don’t even know what she’s doing. What kind of dance is that anyway? Is that the Dougie? The Smurf? The Cabbage Patch? I honestly have no idea. All I know is whomever makes the first GIF of that bad boy gets a public shout-out on Twitter. Get on it, people!

Reynold is not too happy upon learning that it will be a food challenge as he calls eating disgusting food “my one weakness.” (Hey, you forgot about modesty!) Eddie too is worried about what might transpire, especially when he returns back to civilization: “The worst part is when you go home. And, like, you’re about to hook up with a chick, she’s like, ‘Didn’t you eat, like, a cow’s d--- or something?”

Okay, I’m just going to let that one sit there for a moment…

Hold on one more minute, if you will. You really to need let the words truly sink in…

Okay, we all good now? So, just to recap: Here we are at the first post-merge challenge with Eddie presumably among the two most likely people to be voted off should he not win immunity. But instead of being worried about winning and saving his own skin, Eddie’s chief concern is that 10 months later back in New Jersey, his attempts at banging some broad are going to be thwarted over a misconception that he ate “cow’s d---.” Way to be a gamer, Eddie! The cool kids are all super proud of you.

Cochran, however, thinks a win would be “exactly what my love life needs.” He believes being able to down pig brains will turn him into a raging badass. In essence, he is hoping for the same magical transformation that turned mild-mannered nerd Steve Urkel into suave and sophisticated Stefan Urquelle…which also occurred after ingesting a mysterious substance, I might add.

Let’s go see if it happens! I can’t tell you how excited I am to see a good ol’ fashioned Survivor food challenge back. It’s been years! I was never a fan of how the challenge evolved into the Survivor smoothie affair since the food always seemed a lot less disgusting in liquid form. I want feathers, pieces of beak, all that gnarly stuff. I want the contestants to truly suffer for my perverse entertainment. I mean, that’s why they’re there after all, right? Say what you will about this season with all that Shamar and Brandon nonsense, but the challenges have been excellent and this return to form continues that trend.

NEXT: Cochran floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee

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