Survivor recap: Reshuffling the Deck

The contestants are forced to adapt to new surroundings as the tribes swap members
Ep. 06 | Aired Mar 20, 2013

GET YOUR HANDS IN (AND HANTZ OUT) The Favorites celebrated being rid of Brandon.

Monty Brinton/CBS

To that end, Phillip talks to the one female Fan that came over in the switch. Juliana, I think her name is? Or Juliette? Definitely something with a J. He’s trying to get her to flip on her tribemates. But Corinne — who went from like zero to 60 in terms of screen time in this episode — says they don’t need someone to flip since they are already in the majority. “He’s the worst federal agent I’ve ever met,” she says. “What cases did he crack? What cases was he working on? And is that the reason our country is such a mess?”

Corinne immediately goes and tells Dawn, whose entire contribution to this episode is a wacky and unflattering please-don’t-turn-this-into-a-GIF facial reaction. (If I knew how the hell to make a GIF I would do so just for a friend-of-a-friend of mine named Janae, who I am confident would find great humor and pleasure in such a thing.) Corrine wants Phillip to zip the lips, or, as she puts it: “He needs a warm glass of shut the hell up.” (The woman is on fire!)

There have been times on Survivor when one tribe was full of clearly stronger and superior athletes, yet when it came to a challenge, their lack of chemistry or heart ultimately led them to defeat. This is not one of those times. The immunity challenge is the first truly huge blowout of the season. The contest forces the team to roll six big crates which must then be used to build a staircase that spells out Fans vs. Favorites. Don’t look now, ladies and gentlemen, but we have our very first puzzle of the season! Granted, it involves just as much (if not more) brawn than brains in terms of moving the huge crates where they need to go in the puzzle, but the fact that they need to be put in certain positions to spell out the phrase definitely qualifies it as a puzzle.

Jeff Probst says I am the one to thank/blame for this being such a puzzle-free season due to my incessant bitching about certain seasons turning into Puzzlepalooza. And my love for water challenges has been widely established as well. So it’s no surprise to hear that I am a big fan of the challenges this season. Perhaps a little heavy on the carnival-esque tossing of bean bags, but super solid nonetheless.

This is another simple yet exciting challenge. At least it would be if Bikal bothered to show up and compete. The thing is over from the very start. Gota jumps out to massive lead, eventually lapping Bikal in the bringing back of the crates. Then, when Bikal does get all their crates back, they just kind of stand there as Julia and Phillip argue about the best way to proceed. “Bikal appears to be on some sort of medication they are moving so slow!” yells Probst, leaving me to wonder what kind of medication we are talking about exactly and if they are sharing. (Once a contestant on the way to location before a season began gave me a sleeping pill on the plane and man, was I flying high.)

“That was pathetic,” scoffs Probst after announcing Gota as the victors. (I feel sort of the same about my drugs-on-a-plane story.) Phillip agrees and knows just what to do to get his tribe back on track. PEP TALK! The speech seems to start off on a somewhat confusing note as The Specialist talks about how sometimes the better team wins. Maybe it’s just me, but labeling your own team inferior doesn’t exactly have the same oomph as “Win one for the Gipper.” Corinne is not feeling the speech either. She’s done with Phillip’s ranting. “On a scale of, like, 1 to on-an-airplane-next-to-a-baby annoying, he is on-the-airplane-next-to-the-baby annoying and the baby has diarrhea.” Damn, this woman is giving the Zingbot 3000 a run for its money.

NEXT: Who’s gonna go?

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