Survivor recap: Reshuffling the Deck

The contestants are forced to adapt to new surroundings as the tribes swap members
Ep. 06 | Aired Mar 20, 2013

GET YOUR HANDS IN (AND HANTZ OUT) The Favorites celebrated being rid of Brandon.

Monty Brinton/CBS

So the eggs are cracked and we have our new tribes. It is bad news for the fans as they do not get a majority in either tribe as there is an exact 4-3 Faves advantage in both.  The new tribes:

GOTA 2.0

That Woman Who Never Speaks

Everyone professes to be happy with the move, because no one wants to come right out and say “Crap, I can’t believe I got stuck with these losers.” But strictly looking at the physical prowess of the contestants, it seems as if the new Bikal got screwed. While the females stack up pretty evenly, putting Reynold, Erik and Malcolm on one tribe together is just downright unfair. The new Bikal mantra should be “Pray for puzzles.”

While I am trying to keep this comparison strictly in terms of how it affects actual gameplay, captain of the Cool Kids Table Eddie is going to predictably take it one step further: “We are the young, good-looking tribe. It’s awesome!” I’m sorry, does Eddie even know what game he is playing? I have not heard one single word of strategy from him all game. All I have heard is how he likes hanging out with cool and hot people. Dude, I have bad news for you: This is not Bachelor Pad. And now I have even worse news for you: Bachelor Pad just got cancelled! So now you don’t even have a fall-back plan. And if you don’t have a reality television fall-back plan, then none of the cool kids are going to want to hang out with you.

Instead of Reynold, Eddie, and Sherri working together on the new Gota to see if they can get one of the Favorites to flip, they decide to completely sell each other out instead. The whole scene plays out like a modern day bizarro version of “Summer Nights” from Grease, as the dudes all hang out on one side of the beach with Eddie and Reynold bragging about how awful Sherri is, and then ladies all sit off in the water on the other side as Sherri shares how much she dislikes the two boys.

Erik — perhaps playing the role of Doody, Putzie, or Sonny to Reynold and Eddie’s Danny Zuko and Kenickie — is immediately wary. “I look at Reynold and think used car salesman,” says the fan-turned-favorite-turned-invisible-character. Meanwhile, Andrea and Malcolm pow-wow in the woods, where Malcolm seems to pow-wow with all his Survivor ladies (Denise, Corinne, etc…) They compare notes on the Fans selling each out while Malcolm assures Andrea that there is nothing to Andrea’s dream that he had the hidden immunity idol. Wow, Andrea having visions about things happening in the game! Who does she think she is, Shambo?!? For his part, Malcolm lies and insists he is idol-less. “She’s a smart girl,” says Malcolm, “but I’m an accomplished liar when it comes to women so maybe I pulled it off.” Any other guy says that and women would be lighting him up on the message boards as a pompous pig, but somehow I’m guessing Malcolm will get a free pass. Damn him and his charm!

Over at Bikal, Corinne is having a gay old time now that there is a gay person there. She loves the gays! How do I know? Because she is telling us TWELVE THOUSAND TIMES! But as much as Corinne wants to flip to make Michael her own personal Charlie Herschel 2.0, she can’t strategically because she knows the rest of her Faves alliance will stay true.

NEXT: Wait, does that count as a puzzle?

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