Survivor recap: Rage in the Cage

Shamar gets upset after Reynold uses the diving mask in the challenge. Actually, Shamar gets upset about pretty much everything.
Ep. 03 | Aired Feb 27, 2013

CAGED BEASTS The Favorites came out victors in the best Survivor challenge of the season

Monty Brinton/CBS

Back on the Gota beach, Shamar tells Reynold, “Don’t talk to me. You disgust me.” I could go into the reasons why, but honestly, does it matter? And is watching Shamar as exhausting for you as it is for me? I mean, I know tribe drama is generally considered a good thing, but this is really not entertaining in the least. This isn’t someone I love to hate. Nor is it a person I hate. I just…CAN’T DEAL. All the repetitive screaming over nonsense is just monotonous. I’m over it. But Shamar is still valuable to the tribe if the majority wants to maintain numbers with a safety net in case Reynold uses or hands off the idol. They decide to have the three women (Sherri, Laura, Julia) vote for Hope and the three men (Matt, Michael, Shamar) vote for Eddie. Then, on the revote, they can all get rid of Hope, who has proved as useless in producer confessional interviews as she has in challenges. Okay, well that was easy.

Too easy, it seems. For reasons that only make sense to a man who makes no sense, Shamar decides to tell Hope everything. Hope then tells Julia. Julia tells Sherri. And they told two friends. And they told two friends. And so on. And so on. (Anyone under the age of 30 has no idea what I’m talking about right now.) Now the majority alliance gets worried about what Shamar is really doing and additional scrambling happens, with Laura even talking to Reynold about a possible new five-person alliance to get rid of Shamar. Will it happen? Let’s go to Tribal Council and find out.

At TC we are treated to more of the world according to Shamar, in which everyone else on the tribe is a liar, while Reynold and Eddie are on some sort of “No Talking list.” Hey, not for nothing, but that sounds like a pretty sweet list to me. If I were on the Gota tribe I’d be trying like hell to get on that list. Matt! Julia! Michael! Get your applications in pronto! Just one question, though: What happens if Jeff Probst gets put on the No Talking list? Not exactly sure how Tribal Council would work in that case, but I’ll tell you what — I’m willing to find out! I hereby present an official petition for the adding of one Jeffrey Probst to Shamar Thomas’ No Talking list. I don’t know what would happen were that to come true but I am relatively confident it would be amazing on every level.

NEXT: Who is playing the best so far?

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