'Survivor' recap: Lazy or Crazy?

The celebration continues for the Favorites back at the beach in a really weird un-Survivor like scene. The general rule for contestants on Survivor is to not address the camera at all unless they are taking part in a one-on-one confessional interview. So when they are on the beach, they are instructed to go about their business and talk to each other, but only acknowledge the camera’s existence when in a designated interview session which serves as narration for the show. The point of this is to at least give the illusion that there is no interference from outside elements as the players live amongst each other. Essentially, the goal of production is to make you, the viewer, forget that the cameras exist. You’re just there eavesdropping on the conversations taking place.

Yet here we have a scene that goes completely against that prime directive, as Phillip blatantly addresses the camera and goes down the line of alliance-members, telling us about all their Stealth-R-Us nicknames: The Intelligence Attaché (Cochran) The Enforcer (Malcolm), The Eliminator (Andrea), The Dominatrix (Corinne), and True Grit (Dawn). As he does this, many of the so dubbed agents make goofy faces at the camera while they are introduced. It is mildly funny, to be sure, but also just feels odd because it is so un-Survivor like in the way they are all clearly addressing and playing up to the camera. This breaking down of TVs proverbial fourth wall caught me a bit of-guard. And, more than likely, I am the only one who even noticed or cared about it, so I’ll move on.

Over on the Fans tribe, the inevitable backlash to the failed challenge preparations has already begun. “Your behavior is not acceptable where I come from,” Reynold tells Shamar. That comment might have more merit if Reynold did come from a place where four person alliances in a group of 10 were considered powerful. In any event, Reynold keeps calling Shamar unacceptable and Sharmar keeps yelling “Let it be childish” over and over. Repeating phrases over and over seems to be Shamar’s big go-to move. Even the semi-famous You Tube video of him yelling at police officers is basically him merely alternating between “There is no honor in this!” and “How do you do this to people?” ad nauseum. A bit repetitive, that guy.

While Matt tries to decide which alliance to stick with, Laura makes a motion to oust Allie because she’s “the only one of the four pretty people that’s really thinking.” Or is she? Reynold realizes now might be a good time to go hunting for a hidden immunity idol, and he does not need to hunt for long, finding the HII. But the last thing Reynold wants to do is  — ahem — show off his package. “I’m trying to just check myself, be smart about it, not walk back to camp with some giant, stupid grin on my face and a huge bulge in my pocket.” Well, easier said than done for some of us, Reynold. Just sayin’.

But it turns out Reynold’s concern is valid, because apparently, Laura can’t stop staring at his enormous package. “Right before we’re about to leave for Tribal Council, I see a bulge in Reynold’s pocket,” Laura tells us. “And it seemed like there was definitely something in it.” Oh, there’s something in it all right, Laura. [Cue seventies bass-heavy porn music.] So as the tribe heads to Tribal Council, many questions abound. Will Matt and Michael join the hotties or the notties? Will the notties vote for Allie or Reynold? Will Reynold use, pass, or hold on to the idol? And will Shamar agree to vacate the shelter premises for a few hours to attend Tribal Council or would that be too dehydrating?

At Tribal, everyone talks openly about the Flirty Foursome and the fact that…. Hold on a second. WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!? There is some brunette woman I swear we’ve never seen before sitting here at Tribal Council. Where did she come from? Can the Intelligence Attaché please get me a file on this woman, pronto? Oh, here it is. Thanks, Intelligence Attaché. Tell The Specialist that The Analyst is on the case, Okay, let’s see here. This says her name is Julia…and, well, we don’t know anything else about her because she has yet to open her mouth. Hmmm.... Known accomplices include operatives in Nicaragua (Code Name: Purple Kelly), Samoa (Code Names: Boring Brett, Little Leif, and Cowboy Rick) and — what’s this? — she has another advance operative already working right here in the Philippines (Code Name: Carter Spikoli). Looks like we’ll have to keep an eye on her...as opposed to an ear, since she’s not likely to say anything anytime soon.

NEXT: My (better-late-than-never) picks to win it all!