Survivor season finale recap: How To Lose A Million Dollars

Woo channels the ghost of Colby Donaldson, and hands away a million dollars to Tony in the process
Ep. 13 | Aired May 21, 2014

FEARSOME FOURSOME One of the people in this photo is getting closer to making a super costly blunder

CBS

SPENCER
In case you didn’t realize it, producers totally pre-screen jury questions or at least get a sense of what the person is going to say going in, which is why the most dramatic one is usually the last one (remember Penner in Survivor: Philippines)? I actually think in this case, the most powerful thing would have been to end on Trish with Tony’s answer of “Yes,” but no matter because you knew a hardcore fan like Spencer was going to make the most of his moment in the spotlight. He begins with his assessment of Woo: “When I look at your game I can’t help but make this comparison between your strategic play and the behavior of a dog. Tony was like your master.” Ouch. When Woo then asks if Spencer could respect him for taking a goat to the finals, Spencer responds with an emphatic “YES!”

Then, instead of questioning Tony, Spencer chooses to address the jury instead and lobby for Tony to win. This is certainly not a new maneuver. David did the exact same thing on behalf of Boston Rob on Redemption Island. And Kat also addressed the jury on One World and pleaded with them to not vote out of spite. But sometimes you need someone like that to step up and make sure that the people charged with voting on who played the best game are not suffering from Bitter Jury Syndrome (BJS) and making that vote based on the fact that they simply can’t handle that someone outplayed them (ahem…Tasha!). Just because it deserves to be preserved for the official record, here is Spencer’s plea to the jury, in full:

“Love him or hate him, Tony played his ass off out here. Woo tries to excuse his passive play on not having idols and Tony finding three idols. Why do you think Tony found three idols? It’s because he looked more than everyone else combined! Tony was behind every great strategic decision. He blinded his alliance to what was going on around him in the game, like a puppet master. He took a slew of goats deep, put some on the jury. He took one to the end. Tony played with a ferocity this game very rarely does see. And so when you put pen to parchment tonight, vote for the only guy sitting there who actually played this game and played it in a way that honors it.”

At this point, even with showing us Tasha’s absurd vote for Woo, the game is clearly going to Tony, so all that’s left is to cross those fingers and see if we will possibly get another dramatic delivery of the voting urn to the United States. Will it be by jet ski? By subway? By skydiving? By motorcycle? Could this be the year Jeff Probst finally scuba dives his way to Los Angeles? Alas, no. He just walks them in. LAME! In all seriousness, if there is one thing I could change about Survivor, it would be mandating that they go back to some of these classic vote delivery sequences of yesteryear. Nothing has ever made me laugh harder — and that includes the time Becky and Sundra could not make fire in a tiebreaker…even when using matches!

The good news is Probst has promised me at least one more epic entrance at some point in Survivor’s future. The bad news is that with the new live wrap-around format for the first two hours, such an epic journey from halfway around the world makes considerably less sense when we have already seen him on stage in the United States. Or maybe the fact that it makes less sense makes it even better. I have no idea. But it needs to happen. In ant event, as suspected, Tony wins in a landslide, with Tasha the only player allowing BJS to determine her vote. Good for Tony. I think most, if not all, true Survivor fans were cool as long as either Spencer or Tony won.

NEXT: Tyler Perry and other random quick hits from the live reunion

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