Survivor season finale recap: How To Lose A Million Dollars

Woo channels the ghost of Colby Donaldson, and hands away a million dollars to Tony in the process
Ep. 13 | Aired May 21, 2014

FEARSOME FOURSOME One of the people in this photo is getting closer to making a super costly blunder


Jeremiah basically uses his moment in the jury spotlight to tell us about all the things that people don’t look kindly upon “where I’m from.” But Jeremiah has no problem if the wife and kid that Tony was swearing upon don’t really exist — because apparently lying about having a wife and kid is absolutely fine, while lying about swearing on their lives so that he can bring them home a million dollars is unacceptable. (A lie is a lie, my man.) Tony tells Jeremiah his family is real so then the male model turns to Woo and says Woo needs to prove that he deserves to win the money —  to which Woo responds that he wants to win, which is not even close to being the same as deserves, so who knows what the hell Jeremiah is thinking at this point after hearing that.

Tasha asks Tony how he kept everyone in line after blindsiding people behind their backs, to which Tony replies that the only person he backstabbed without them breaking a promise first was Trish, conveniently omitting his entrapment of LJ.

LJ uses his question to quote the great Roger Daltry and ask simply, “Who are you?” Reading from the book of Todd Herzog, who killed an angry Jean-Robert with kindness by saying he had no choice but to blindside him because he was simply too good and would have beaten him at the end, Tony does the same thing, telling LJ he was “petrified” of him and therefore had to come up with a reason to get rid of his former alliance partner.

This is when it begins to get good. Kass is rightfully incredulous that Woo brought Tony to the finals instead of her. “Why on earth did you not cut the head of the dragon off?” she inquires. When Woo responds that he thought people would respect the decision, Kass hits him back with, “So you brought someone who deserved it more than you to get points for yourself?” This leads Woo to tell Kass that he didn’t think she deserved to sit there in the final 2. EXACTLY! THAT’S WHY YOU BRING HER! But Kass is just the opening act for what is about to come.

Even while Tony was going behind Trish’s back to vote people out from their alliance, Trish excused him and always was able to explain away his actions. But not after he voted her out. She uses her time here to hammer him for swearing on his father’s grave because she has two dead siblings. She wants him to answer one question and one question only, and she wants him to answer it not only to her, but his entire family. The question: “Was it worth it for you for a million dollars, to sacrifice your own father, to get you here?”

Wow, tough spot here for Tony, but there’s only one way to answer. If you say no, you come off as wishy-washy, not genuine, and look like you are repudiating your entire gameplay. So Tony says the only thing he can say — yes. And it is worth it, because those words he spoke were just that, words. And again, what you do in the game has no bearing on anything that happens in real life outside of the game, because this is not real life. Everyone lies in this game. Everyone. To then go and say some lies are okay and others are not is hypocritical. You use every tool in your toolbox to convince people you are not lying, and if Tony felt this was the tool he needed to use, then fine. Not saying I would have done it, but I also don’t have a problem with it either.

NEXT: A worthy winner is crowned

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