Survivor season finale recap: How To Lose A Million Dollars

Woo channels the ghost of Colby Donaldson, and hands away a million dollars to Tony in the process
Ep. 13 | Aired May 21, 2014

FEARSOME FOURSOME One of the people in this photo is getting closer to making a super costly blunder

CBS

If Tony has proven one thing this season it is…that he likes to lean very far forward while casting his votes at Tribal Council? Okay, yes, but another thing he has proven is that he knows what buttons to push with people, and he pushes all the right ones with Woo when they get back to camp. (And yes, I realize that inadvertently sounds very sexual and I sincerely apologize for that.) He plays up the honor and integrity card and says Woo will not be able to use that if he goes and brings the less deserving Kass to the finals instead of him. It is the type of argument that has no business actually working. But then again, Woo kind of has no business still being in this game. (And again I say this as someone who totally digs the guy on a personal level.) Kass compares Woo to Fabio from Nicaragua, and that is not a terrible comparison to make. In fact, it may be one of the only non-terrible things Kass has done in this entire game. (She was great on puzzles. I’ll give her that too. Also great at appointing herself nicknames. Can’t deny her power in that area.)

Right about now is where I get really, really nervous. Because ever since they moved to the final 3 format in Cook Islands, I have publicly lobbied for a return to the final 2 (which has made only occasional appearances since, seemingly due to injuries in the game unexpectedly pulling people out). I have long argued to Probst that A vs. B is inherently more dramatic than “pick one of the above,” even if it means sacrificing a better player in the process. But now, with us staring down at a potential Woo vs. Kass finals, let’s just say I am fearful of checking my email inbox lest I see an incoming message from Jeffrey Probst with the following subject line: “SEE!!!!!!!”

There’s no doubt about it: even with the endlessly entertaining invective that would have been directed at the queen of chaos, a Woo vs. Kass final would have been an epic letdown, and I would never win this argument of final 2 vs final 3 with Probst ever again. So Woo not only saves Tony with this next vote, but he saves me as well. And he saves Colby Donaldson, who now has company in the best intentions/worst idea category. But others are not so happy. Over on the jury, watching Woo vote out Kass, Spencer sits there with his mouth agape, not believing what he just saw. And all Kass can say is “Woo! Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

The weirdest part about all of this is how off Woo’s perception of this vote is. He calls it “a big power move that I can finally claim as my own. So what really got me leaning more towards taking Tony is what I thought the jury would respect.” (Sure, maybe if your name is Tasha and you are looking for absolutely any excuse to not give money to the guy who outplayed you.) Woo also keeps repeating to Tony that “we got 50-50, bro” leading me to believe that Woo does not really understand how percentages work. See, 50-50 means you have just as much a chance of winning as the other guy. This is not 50-50.

NEXT: The jury speaks…and sulks

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