Survivor season finale recap: How To Lose A Million Dollars

Woo channels the ghost of Colby Donaldson, and hands away a million dollars to Tony in the process
Ep. 13 | Aired May 21, 2014

FEARSOME FOURSOME One of the people in this photo is getting closer to making a super costly blunder

CBS

So off to our first immunity challenge we go, and with an audience of loved ones, no less. The contest starts with the players perched on a pole in the ocean, where they must use a bucket to retrieve water, which must then be poured down a chute to raise a key. When they get their key, they much swim to shore and use that key to unlock pieces and make a puzzle. Like all of these challenges, it’s all about the puzzle. Look, I have railed about too many puzzles in the past, but while I actually think the challenges have been pretty good this season, I do worry that 90 percent of each contest is basically irrelevant because whomever does best on the puzzle almost always ends up winning. The flip side is that it gives us these amazing comebacks, and those are great to watch and no doubt the course is designed for those because they make for great television. But you also need to feel like every stage actually matters, and I’m not sure that has been the case this season.

And here is another perfect example of that. Kass is about as far back as one can be, still working on getting her chute filled with water as all the others are deep into their puzzle. But then what happens? Even after she gets her rope stuck, delaying her even more, she still is able to come all the way back and beat Spencer for the win. I suppose this was extra humiliating for the Bledsoe family after Spencer’s sister replied to Probst’s announcement of “Spencer making a lot of progress, if he’s right” with “Of course, he’s right!” Of course.

So Spencer kicks his puzzle piece in disgust — which is awesome and hilarious because that’s what Spencer does when he loses — while Kass goes over and smooches her husband, making millions of Americans simultaneously pull a Spencer and kick their remotes in disgust. “I had to win and it meant so much,” Spencer tells us. “And so losing in itself is devastating, but to lose to a brain dead weasel like Kass? That is the most humiliating way I could have lost today.” He lost the battle and it looks like he is about to lose the war unless he can somehow convince Tony to keep him. So after the Jersey cop complains about missing his last chance to win an individual immunity challenge, Spencer informs him that he can tell it is going to be a final 2, not final 3, and that Kass and Woo will take each other — but if Tony keeps him, then Spencer will remain the biggest target at the following Tribal Council, not Tony.

It’s an interesting pitch, and although Woo spends a good amount of energy trying to figure out what the tiebreaker would be in such a scenario (“We’re gonna have to draw rocks? The jury? We fight for it? What happens? We have to act out all the Pauly Shore scenes from Encino Man?”) the fact that we never hear Tony weigh in on it means it’s a pretty safe bet that he won’t be buying that pitch. But let’s head to Tribal Council to find out anyway.

Probst begins by talking about Kass’ incredible comeback and says, “Spencer, the look of despair on your face when Kass won the challenge today. It’s the first time in 37 days I’ve seen emotion from you.” SAY WHAT?!?!??!?!?!?!?! The guy was yelling and screaming YESTERDAY when he won the last challenge. And whenever he loses, he starts kicking and knocking things over! Spencer’s celebrations and temper tantrums are legendary…at least in these here recaps they are.

NEXT: Rites of Passage R.I.P.

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