Survivor recap: The Man Who Could Not Stand Still

Instead of being patient and following a laid out path to victory, Tony makes a bold move that could doom him in the end
Ep. 08 | Aired Apr 16, 2014

AND THE WINNER OF THE WORST SELF-APPOINTED SURVIVOR NICKNAME IS...The Opportunist!

Michael Yarish/CBS

But let’s examine what made flipping on LJ such an awful move. First off, you are keeping around three people — Spencer, Jeremiah, and Tasha — that stand a good chance of beating you should they make it to the finals because they will have alliance members on the jury, and the fact that they overcame great odds to get there and didn’t hurt any feelings along the way gives them an advantage. Secondly, you have now turned your back on LJ, Trish, Jefra, and Kass, the last three of which wanted no part of getting rid of LJ. Those are potential jury votes that now could turn against you. Remember: The key is to not just get to the end, but have the people you voted out want to give you the money. That second part of the equation seems to be lost on many players this season.

QUOTE #9: “I love a good blindside, but it’s too soon. No one wants to make a big move right now. You’d be stupid.” —Kass

See! Even Kass thinks this was a bad move. KASS!!! Kass is the patron saint of terrible strategic decisions and if this human flip-flop thinks this was an absurd error in judgment than that should tell you something.

QUOTE #10: “I actually for the first time in this game feel comfortable” —LJ

Note to any and all future Survivor contestants: NEVER EVER SAY YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE! How many times have these words escaped the lips of an unsuspecting contestant, only for them to be voted out one commercial break later? Saying these words is a death wish. It’s like saying Beetlejuice (or Betelgeuse) three times. Do so at your own risk. As soon as LJ said this, we knew he was a goner.

QUOTE #11: “You gotta know when to kiss ass and you gotta know when to kick ass.” —Tony

This follows last week’s assertion that “it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.” Did Tony pull a Coach and bring a catchy quote book out on location with him? Regardless, by the time they got to Tribal Council all the evidence was mounting that this was a time to kiss ass as opposed to kicking it. Trish was not buying what Tony was selling in terms of getting rid of LJ. Even backstabber extraordinaire Kass was not down with deviating from the plan. (Who knows what Jefra was doing because we never hear from her anyway.) The point is, it would be one thing if Tony could get everyone on board to vote off LJ, but he couldn’t. The only one his lie worked on was Ninja Stealth Woo. It’s as if there was a big neon flashing ABORT! sign staring right at his face, but Tony chose to ignore it because patience is simply not in his vocabulary.

So now Tony just angered four people who may be potential jury votes down the line. And for what? To allow the much bigger threat of Spencer to stay in the game. This was clearly a lose-lose proposition. Although the winners were us, the viewers, as it completed another crazy episode in this anything goes season.

NEXT: The advantage to viewers of otherwise boring memory challenges


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