Survivor recap: The Legend of Boobs McGee

Morgan's only compelling reason for anyone to keep her around is by bragging about how terrible she is. It doesn't work.
Ep. 07 | Aired Apr 9, 2014

IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN On the other hand, Spencer did win two immunities and this impromptu wet t-shirt contest

Michael Yarish/CBS

The challenge in question this time is an endurance contest. I love these. Simple yet dramatic. In this one, the players have to balance on their toes with a block wedged between their head and the top of the frame. When the block falls, you’re done. So all the players take their position up on… Oh, wait. Sorry, Kass is already out. That was quick. Jeremiah, Trish, and Tony soon follow — Trish being the surprise for me because I thought her background as a pilates instructor would have trained her for this one. Apparently not. 25 minutes in and Morgan and Woo fall — Woo being another surprise due to his martial arts and surfing background. Jefra and LJ go out at one hour and it is down to Tasha and Spencer. It takes over 90 minutes, but Spencer eventually emerges victorious, which is pretty key because now he can sit and hold onto that Outback Steakhouse idol. (By the way, maybe at this point all hidden immunity idols should have corporate sponsors so they become like college bowl games. "Hey, check it out! I found the Beef O'Brady's idol! It give me immunity and a case of the runs!")

So who’s in trouble? The new majority alliance meets and decides to target Morgan because she doesn’t deserve to be there and nobody likes her enough to give her an idol. On the flip side, Spencer convinces the others to vote for Tony, since he just used up his idol. But he knows that won’t get it done when it comes to numbers, so he goes and attempts to woo Kass back, who reminds us for approximately the 3,872nd time that she is a “free agent.” After calling Morgan “annoying” and a “bitch,” Kass once again tries desperately to convince us what a rebel and a badass she is. “I do trial by ambush,” she announces. “It’s not a recommended strategy by any legal authority. It’s probably not a recommended strategy by any Survivor authority.” No. No, it is not. Can I just say that Kass sounds like a positively terrible lawyer? Does she just change the plea depending on her whim? Not guilty, your honor! On second thought, you know what? Let’s try guilty on for size. Sure, guilty — what the hell Actually, can I flip sides, your honor, and be the prosecutor instead? DON’T MAKE ME PEE ON THIS FLOOR TO GET WHAT I WANT!!!

Off to Tribal Council we go, where Spencer makes a bold statement clearly directed at Kass that, “I play the game to win the game. I would rather risk going out now for a shot at winning than extend my stay in the game.” Then Morgan tells us how everyone has always done everything for her in life because of her looks and that’s okay because “if any person in the world can decide to be ugly or cute, most would pick cute.” (She’s not wrong, incidentally, but I’m not exactly sure what her point is.) But indeed it is Boobs McGee that gets voted out. Has she learned anything from this experience? Has she matured and realized that you need to contribute something to a society besides merely looking hot? Let’s find out with her final comments: “I just want to say how proud I am of myself… They can say whatever they want at Tribal, that I was spiteful or that I was lazy, but I could care less what they said. I mean, Kass is a child and if she was upset with me — whatever. Grow up. You’re 40. Get over it.”

40? Whoa! Stick her on a leper colony or something! How embarrassing! 40! Wow, she just put you in your place, Kass…and that place is a wheelchair at an early bird special just outside the Leisure Village Retirement Community. Dissed and dismissed!!!

NEXT: Your exclusive deleted scene from last night’s episode!

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