Survivor recap: Too Little, Too Late

The castaways finally decide to make a move against Tony, but it's pointless due to the two immunity idols in his bag of tricks
Ep. 11 | Aired May 7, 2014

HITTING THE WALL A plan is put in place to take out Tony but that plan is about three Tribal Councils too late

CBS

In any event, Tony makes an innocuous comment about Kass sleeping in, which the lawyer from hell somehow misconstrues as him calling her a bitch. They then get into a brilliant argument in which Kass repeatedly tells Tony to play his idol while Tony tells Kass she’s going home. It’s basically the adult equivalent of:

“You suck.”
“No, YOU suck!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“I’m rubber. You’re glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you!”
“Wait…what?”

And then Tony does the most Tony thing you would ever expect Tony to do: He starts blabbing again. “Write my name down and you’ll go home,” he informs Kass for the 3,784th time. “And you’ll go home, because I got a special idol. That’s why. You guys hear that?” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — the guy can simply not help himself. I have never seen a less stealthy player in my entire life. And you would expect someone obsessed with “Spy Shacks” to at least have a vague understanding of the word secrecy. But Tony can’t keep anything a secret, from his real profession (which there was no reason to lie about in the first place) to the fact that anytime he gets an idol he needs to blab to everyone all about it.

Again, yes, it doesn’t matter at this point if he tells everyone he has it because he has two idols and there are only two Tribals left to use them, but then he goes back later and refuses to confirm or deny to Spencer whether he actually has it. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DUDE!

Okay, let’s all “Come on in, guys!” to the reward challenge and…whoa! What is this? A white shirt for Probst? White or super light blue, I can't tell. Either way, eschewing the standard dark blues & greens for this new hue? The twists just keep on coming, it seems! In this challenge, two teams of three race to grab sand bags that are then used to throw and destroy the other team’s wall. Once the first wall is destroyed then both teams have to rebuild their own walls and the first one to do so wins. It’s actually super confusing for a pretty simple contest, which producers must have discovered because we hear Probst restate the rules in ADR post-production about five times to help us understand exactly what the hell is going on. Honestly, I just confused myself again explaining the rules so I'm still not even sure I have it right.

Woo, Spencer, and Kass end up on the purple team while the orange team is an attack of the Ts with Tony, Trish, and Tashsa. The purple team manages to knock out all of the orange blocks but there are only two purple blocks left so it is pretty even. In fact, Tasha gives orange a sizable early lead in the rebuilding, but then after blatantly cheating off of the orange stack, Spencer comes storming back and leads his team to a decisive victory.

And what do they win for their efforts? A trip to a local elementary school where they will serve as “Survivor Ambassadors of Good Will” — because who better to be Ambassadors of Good Will then Spencer and Kass, who both look like they are about to break out into an allergic reaction at the mere sight of children. Seriously, can you think of two less cuddly people in the entire world? Spencer even says so himself, referring to the children as “little monsters” and admitting that “I’m not really a kid person, and I will be the first to say that I don’t really even like kids.” Thank you, Ambassador! And then there’s Chaos Kass, who likely told the kids she also brought them lots of chocolate pudding, but then changed her mind and ate it instead just so she could be “Ambassador by Ambush.”

NEXT: Shocker! Someone convinces Woo to vote a certain way

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