The second group features what we have all been waiting for: Gervase’s Revenge! Back in season 1, Gervase was about as lame as lame can be at this challenge when forced to eat beetle larva (or grubs). He repeatedly kept putting his fingers on his tongue to psych himself up and hitting himself so hard and so many times in the head it was like he was reenacting the big fight scene between Rocky Balboa and Ivan Drago at the end of Rocky IV — from both sides. Then, he was picked by the other tribe as the weakest member to take on Stacey Stillman with immunity at stake. He lost.
So here comes Gervase for another round and you can’t be feeling good about his chances. Sure enough, he’s jumping up and down again like a lunatic as he attempts to get down the mealworms. But he’s not the only one having trouble. Ciera spits hers out into the sand and simply gives up while Tina is holding her ears like she’s the Baby New Year looking for its top hat from Rudolph’s Shiny New Year.
But when all is said and done and barfed out and reswallowed, it is Hayden, Caleb, and Gervase — yes, Gervase! — that move on. The six remaining contestants line up for round 2 to be presented with their next dish: pig intestines. Three ounces worth. Tyson wants to know how they were prepared. “Beautifully,” responds Jeff Probst. (Pssst…I think Jeff Probst is lying.) This round is notable for the fact that it marks the warm-up session of the Monica Culpepper Retching Olympics. But it works as Monica and Gervase — yes, Gervase! — advance to the finals.
What happens next is almost too good to be true. Remember those grubs that positively tormented Gervase back in season 1? They’re baaaaaaaaack! In a battle of the truly bizarre, you have Gervase beating himself up in one corner and Monica with the most prolonged retch in Survivor history. In fact, her retch is so glorious that it even inspired me to download the Vine app just so I could put it on a continuous loop. And it is so prolonged and manly that Jeff Probst even sees fit to bestow a last name moniker on her, yelling out “Fight through it, Culpepper!” She does fight through it and completes her victory by thrusting her boobs all over Probst. (Hey! Whaddya expect? He called her Culpepper! Although I can only assume that another handsy female Survivor contestant that enjoyed privileged last name status — Dawson — cannot be too happy about MC moving in on her man.) As for Gervase, he didn’t go from zero to hero, but he came pretty damn close. Well done.
Back at camp there is some various last minute misdirections to make you think that Vytas will not be the one to follow his brother through the proverbial door off the tribe, but once we get to Tribal Council, it's clear it is him. This clarity comes as we see Dr. Jekyll morph into Mr. Hyde right before our very eyes. Unlike the Vytas who I began to suspect was being paid a dollar every time he uttered the word trust, this Vytas knows he is being voted out and has no problem scorching a patch of earth on the way out. He curses. He starts dissing Monica and labeling her a doormat. He warns the women that the men will take over after he is gone.
NEXT: Tyson sends the tribe on a wild goose chase