Survivor recap: Boneham or Bonehead?

Laura’s decision to reveal classified information costs her a spot on the tribe. Meanwhile, Kat cries. Like, a lot.
Ep. 07 | Aired Oct 30, 2013

SMILE IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING REALLY DUMB Laura's best intentions led to the worst results when she told Vytas he was being voted out

Monty Brinton/CBS

So Tadhana is off to their fried chicken reward while Galang must return back to the beach where they can bide their time until voting off the only guy of the tribe in Vytas. As long as nobody does something rash they should be fine. But who would go and do that, right? Oh crap, is Laura Boneham on this tribe? I can’t keep track ever since they switched things up? Wait, she is?! Oh no. This is an All Points Bulletin. I need all units to proceed immediately to the coordinates of the Galang beach. Repeat: All units proceed immediately to the coordinates of the Galang beach. We have a tribe member in danger of going rogue. Code name: Rupert Lite. Orders are to find the target and shut her the hell up before she gets herself voted out of the game. WARNING: TARGET IS ARMED AND EXTREMELY STUPID. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. (Which is to say, tell HER to proceed with caution.)

“We decided as four girls that you’re the next to go,” Laura tells Vytas. ABORT! ABORT! When asked why she is telling him this information, Laura says it is so he can “have a good afternoon.” “So you think that makes me want to have a good afternoon?” Vytas asks. Oh my God, the entire scene is sooooo uncomfortable, with the other three ladies avoiding any eye contact with anyone else and silently cursing up a storm under their collective horrified breath.

What makes a good alliance partner? Two things: trust and predictability. Laura just blew those two things out of the water by informing Vytas of his impending demise without consulting the group first. She wasn’t trying to backstab. She wasn’t trying to dictate. She wasn’t trying to be malicious. But I cannot stress what a bonehead (or Boneham, as it were) move this was. You can’t go popping off with information like this on a whim, as genuine and kind as that whim may have been.

Or, if you are going to pop off by saying something you shouldn’t be saying, at least do it away from the tribe like Vytas, who is off telling a camera that “Females are in control but they always need one alpha male to keep around. Otherwise there’s no future for the pride.” See, smart move by Vytas there. Instead of pissing off the four women on his tribe, he decided to piss off the entire female population of the United States of America instead by painting them as incapable of surviving without a sturdy male presence (which, if you want to get technical, I suppose they are if they have any hopes for repopulation, but it’s not like I would go and say that). But here’s the thing: Those women don’t vote! What will the ladies here on the island do? Will Tina switch her vote to Laura? After all, if she votes Vytas off, what will happen to the babies?!? Her grandchildren’s very lives hang in the balance! THINK OF THE BABIES, DAMMIT!!!

NEXT: Another Katie Collins Tribal Council fashion statement

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