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SMILE IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING REALLY DUMB Laura's best intentions led to the worst results when she told Vytas he was being voted out
So after making Hayden promise several times over that he will not break up with her due to her subpar performance, the eliminated Kat is off to Ponderosa to share beers with Brad Culpepper and bond over how much they love the state of Florida. Speaking of Brad Culpepper, he seemed to insinuate in our exit interview last week that I had some sort of man crush on astronaut John Cody. If that’s true, it still doesn’t hold a romantic candle to my man crushes on Tom Wetsman and Yul Kwon. However, the dude has now stayed alive in four straight duels, so he definitely deserves some props, Culpepper be damned!
So John gives Monica the clue to the hidden immunity idol and do I really need to tell you what she does with it? No? Good.
Remorse time! Now we get to the part of the show where Hayden has to pretend to feel bad about not taking Kat’s place when we clearly saw he didn’t want to. “Kat is a little naive sometimes and doesn’t always know which way is up, and I’m the one that helps her,” says Hayden. (A little odd to talk about your girlfriend as if she is mentally handicapped, but okay.) “I was in a position to help her. I didn’t do it when I could of. It’s not something to be proud of.” You made the right strategic decision in the game, Hayden — always something to be proud of in my book. Granted it is a cold and heartless book written in the blood of those that were trampled along the way to greater glory, but it is a book nonetheless. It just happens to be titled The Necronomicon.
Meanwhile, in his desire to make sure Vytas will be safe after the merge, it seems Aras may have been name-checking his brother one time too many. With everyone else’s loved ones either out of the game or stuck at Redemption Island, Aras has now become a bit of a target, and Tyson wants to make sure it stays there. Tyson initiates a final five alliance with the rest of the sans-Aras tribe, the moral of the story being: never go up and meditate on a mountain top by yourself so others can scheme behind your well postured back.
In what will prove to be only the second most awkward celebration maneuver by a Baskauskas this week, Vytas gives Katie a high five because apparently high fives are completely awesome! However it seems Tina would like for Vytas to give her daughter much more than that. While giving license to every creep or pervert across the country to hunt down her daughter, bash her head in with a big club, and drag her back unconscious to their collective lair to do with her as they please, Tina says she hopes Katie and Vytas hook up, proclaiming that “I’m ready for grandbabies.” Hey, I’ll high five to that!
NEXT: Air Aras falls back down to Earth