Image credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
THE LOVE BOAT Laura hooked Aras up with a massage, but then he gave her the hook right out of the tribe
Part of me wonders if these offers by Tyson and Monica to swap spots with their loved ones is out of a genuine desire to do so, or is done knowing full well that their significant other will refuse the request, thereby it is done more for show so they don’t come off as self-centered jerks. I kind of wish Rachel had been like “Yeah, get your skinny ass down here.” See, that’s why Gervase never offered to swap; because he knew Marissa would call his bluff and make him switch.
So anyway, we get to hear Monica and Brad talk all about how they are each other’s rocks and how much they adore each other, which culminates with Brad randomly informing us that “I’m not here because I’m a jerk.” Ummmm…okay? You’re also not there because of your matching “P” baseball hats. Or because Jeff really likes your last name (but, strangely, not Monica’s). On the other hand, maybe you are there for all of those reasons. How would you know? You were voted out! You know nothing!
In any event, we finally get to the truel, which involves taking apart a crate, using the planks to build a bridge, and then taking apart the planks to build a puzzle. Candice jumps into an early lead, only to later find herself passed by both her husband and BC. So much for chivalry! Astronaut John Cody (at least I keep insisting he sounds and looks like an astronaut…or like an actor playing an astronaut in The Right Stuff or something) eventually takes command and wins, leaving it between Candice and Brad. It’s tense. So tense that Kat is freaking out beyond belief rooting Brad on. I guess it works because he gets second place, ending Candice’s run of domination and her chance to get back in the game.
Amazingly, even though the returning players to this point have won every single challenge, they actually have more people out of the game (Rupert, Colton, Candice) than the newbies — who have yet to win anything yet have only said goodbye to Rachel and Marissa. How bizarre is that?
No doubt Candice is super bummed about how it went for her in this, her third time out. But she should look at the silver lining: She was voted out five minutes into the game, yet lasted till day 11. An admirable job. And as I have mentioned before, I do think she came into the season at a severe disadvantage due to the fact that she arrived on location a few days after all the other couples (due to being a replacement for RC and her father, who were sent home for medical reasons). Candice and John arrived in the Philippines just 24 hours before the game started, so when there was an immediate vote, she was an easy target. Sucks for her. Then again, she wouldn’t have even been there had RC and her dad not bowed out, so make of the whole situation what you will. I’ll say this about Candice before we move on: She showed me a lot more pluck and spunk this time out then she did in her two previous outings, and that’s without spending a single second on a tribe beach.
But she’s gone now. Opting for the least romantic thing that could possibly come out of his mouth as he is separated from his wife, John tells the love of his life to “go have some cheeseburgers for me.” Wow, I can just picture Hallmark completely redoing their 2014 line of Valentine’s Day cards over that gem. Perhaps Kay Jewelers will also come out with a cheeseburger line of necklaces for “that special someone.” Also, not for nothing, but is that really the type of thing one doctor should be telling another doctor — to go eat some cheeseburgers? I mean, I guess it’s better than “go smoke three packs of menthols for me,” but it still struck me as a bit odd.
NEXT: What Monica should have done with the clue