Image credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
THE LOVE BOAT Laura hooked Aras up with a massage, but then he gave her the hook right out of the tribe
The fallout from the Bard Culpepper blindside begins at nighttime right after Tribal Council at the Tadhana beach. Caleb apologizes for backing people into a corner and says it was not planned but he just couldn’t hold it any longer (which sounds kind of like my kids on a long car ride, now that I think about it). While as viewers we absolutely loved what Caleb did, if I were on his tribe, I’d probably be a little pissed. The most important thing in this game — which goes along with trust — is predictability. If you can’t count on someone sticking to a plan, then you can’t trust them. So while Caleb’s coup of Emperor Culpepper was certainly glorious, if we’re being completely honest, there were a few flashes of Brandon Hantz in there as well. You never knew when Brandon was going to flip the script at Tribal and go his own way and do his own thing. That’s not what you want in an alliance partner. So I definitely do sympathize with Hayden when he tells us how he and Vytas got screwed with the last minute switcheroo. Getting rid of Brad was a great plan. But they should have made it before they got to TC.
As for Culpepper…or Brad…or Brad Culpepper…or whatever the hell we’re supposed to call him — he shows up at Redemption Island to the first weekly meeting of the Brad Culpepper Fan Club. Brad is keenly aware he is not going to be spooning with Candice like Marissa did, so shows up waving an imaginary white flag and begging for a truce. But the Codys are positively thrilled to see him because it means he has suffered for his sins. Says Candice: “I was dead asleep and I hear the sweetest little voice I ever wanted to hear at Redemption Island – Brad Culpepper.” Wow, they’re about to get all Peaches & Herb up in this MoFo. “Reunited and it feels sooooooooooooo good.”
Apparently, night 10 is the most action-packed night in Survivor history because now we are moving from Tadhana to Redemption Island over to Galang, where Laura Morett is giving Aras a massage. I’m sorry, but WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS HAVE THEIR HANDS ALL OVER ARAS?!? And is Tyson in a seething rage under a coconut tree somewhere as he watches that shrew Laura Morett put her mitts all over his man? The whole thing is super-awkward, including the shot of Aras with his shorts hiked all the way up to his genitalia. Because the producers have suddenly decided to become obsessed with night-vision — seriously, when did this show turn into Zero Dark Thirty? — we even get what has to be close to our first-ever confessional interview with Laura Boneham, who talks about the unspoken bond the rest of her tribe has from having all played before. But maybe through the power of blankets she can form a NEW bond with Gervase. A STRONGER bond. A bond that just might take them to the end of the game!
Gervase refuses the blanket. So never mind, I guess.
Whaddya know?! Daylight! Actual daylight! I was starting to think for a second that the cast had turned into vampires and could only be filmed under a full moonlight. (Wait, does that make them werewolves? Had they actually turned into some sort of vampire-werewolf hybrid, I think we can all agree that the blame for that would have to be placed squarely at the feet of Brad Culpepper. After all, he seems to get all the blame for everything in this game. Hey, don’t shush me, Culpepper! I will not be shushed!) We head to Redemption Island arena to watch Monica cry when she sees that her hubby has been voted out of the tribe. And cry she does. “Can I take your spot?” she asks, only to be rebuffed. “You’re never gonna take my spot,” says BC.
NEXT: Candice’s run of Redemption domination comes to an end