Survivor recap: It's a Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad World

It’s all about Brad Culpepper all the time…until Brad Culpepper gets the shock of his life at Tribal Council
Ep. 04 | Aired Oct 9, 2013

WOULD YOU TRUST THIS MAN? For Caleb, the answer was no

Monty Brinton/CBS

Meanwhile, over at Galang, Tyson is chillin’ like a villain — and this villain is stealing not only coconuts, but some shut-eye as well. Tyson has learned that a shoulder injury has its advantages, and is not above playing it up to do less work around camp. To be fair, I’m pretty sure there is not a single thing Tyson is above doing. Witness his membership in the “Coconut Bandits,” which are kind of like the Wet Bandits from Home Alone yet with 100% less Pesci.

It seems Tyson and Gervase have been stealing coconuts, draining the fluid with a small incision. Their dastardly deed is almost uncovered, but Monica then theorizes it must be a crab doing all the damage. A crab? There’s a more a chance that Tata the Horny Bushman has once again infiltrated the tribe beach and is consuming the coconuts than a crab breaking into that thing. Amazingly, Tyson goes on to convince Monica that most of the coconuts were like that in Samoa as well — amazing, because Monica’s last season was also in Samoa. Who knows? Maybe Brad ordered her to believe whatever came out of Tyson’s mouth.

Immunity challenge time! It’s a classic paddle-out-into-the-water-then-get-some-stuff-then-paddle-back-then-use-that-stuff-you-paddled-out-to-get-to-solve-a-puzzle contest. Seen it a million times. But anytime you have an entire tribe paddling backwards for the second time in a month's worth of episodes, it can’t help but be fun. And just like the first time, the newbies jump out to a huge advantage. But thanks to some nifty diving by Laura Boneham, and Tadhana hilariously spilling two giant crates into the water, the returnees catch up. The newbies have a small lead heading into the final puzzle, where Ciera (along with Vytas) would have a rematch with her mother (who demolished her last time and was now with Tyson). Once again, mother bests daughter, commenting later that “I knew she couldn’t beat me.” Not to sound cruel about your daughter, Luara, who I find quite lovely, but I’m not sure she could beat anyone. At anything. On any island. At least I have not been presented with any evidence to counter that impression.

So Tadhana is now 0-4 in challenges. How bad is it? Well, let Hayden Moss summarize: “Unbelievable. We haven’t won yet. I mean, we suck. Today we lost to a one armed dude and three moms. That’s brutal. BRUTAL!” The crazy part is, out on location when the season began, we all thought the newbies were going to dominate. Especially after Rupert took himself off the other tribe. We could not have been more wrong. So now Tadhana has to get rid of someone else, and since Brad tells the camera right before Tribal Council that it will be Ciera, we know one thing for certain: It won’t be Ciera. So who will it be?

Tribal Council seems like a pretty ho-hum affair as Brad goes out of his way to point out how bad Ciera is at puzzles, but then he slips up. Probst asks him if he’s saying it would be great to vote off someone with no loved one so nobody from the other tribe will be mad at him and he responds, “Yeah. That’s a valid point. There’s no doubt about it.” This wakes Caleb up. “You campaigned against me today,” says the man who none of us can understand why he is still with Colton. And then Caleb drops a nuclear bomb on the Sausage Party alliance. We’ve seen people speak out and freak out at Tribal Council before, but it is pretty much always either by someone about to be voted out or a personal beef between people on opposite sides of the tribe. We’ve never quite seen this.

All of a sudden, Caleb looks at Ciera and says, “I don’t want you to go home, I’m gonna write Brad’s name down.” And then to the guys in back: “You all can do what you want to, but that’s three up front, and the guys back there, you all can decide what you all want to do.” KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

NEXT: Why the Blood vs. Water twist is working

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