Survivor recap: It's a Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad World

It’s all about Brad Culpepper all the time…until Brad Culpepper gets the shock of his life at Tribal Council
Ep. 04 | Aired Oct 9, 2013

WOULD YOU TRUST THIS MAN? For Caleb, the answer was no

Monty Brinton/CBS

In this truel, the contestants will have to race across a ladder bridge while maneuvering a key through a rope. When they get to the end they need to use the key to unlock the bag, and use the pieces inside to solve a puzzle. Apparently wanting to prove exactly how duplicitous he can be, Brad brags to his tribe that, “I can still get John to like me again” and proceeds to start helping him with his puzzle. Again, why are you drawing attention to how untrustworthy you are?!? It simply makes no sense!

Either due to or in spite of Brad’s assistance, John takes first place, and then has to sweat it out while his sweetie pie competes against Marissa, who is asking Gervase for help. And Gervase helps out the best way he knows how — by telling his niece to cheat off of John’s completed puzzle. Gervase is right, actually. I’ve lobbied for dividers in instances like this for a truly level playing field (since Marissa was closer to John’s completed model and could have directly cheated off of it while Candice was farther away) but you should always take advantage of anything not against the rules to help you. It’s not Marissa’s fault it’s a bad rule. Exploit it.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter as Candice gets second place and Marissa has to take the walk of shame out of the arena. Of course, there is still a little business to conduct. As the winner, John has to give somebody the clue to the hidden immunity idol. Since giving her husband the clue ultimately led to him being voted out, Candice says, “Let’s give it to Monica,” in the hopes of making her a target.

“Does she tell you what to do all the time?” Probst asks.

“She does. I don’t always listen,” responds John.

So what does John then do? He does exactly what Candice told him. Brilliant.

So John then attempts to give Monica the clue, but Brad starts yelling at her to walk it down and put it in the fire. And what does Monica do? She walks it down and puts in the fire. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WITH THEIR JEDI MIND CONTROL POWERS?!? After this all went down, I tried to see if I too could order my spouse around as I pleased. So I walked over to her and said, “Go put my Gymkata poster on our living room wall.” The response — “Go f--- yourself” — was not exactly what I had hoped for. Then again, knowing both my wife’s attitude about being told what to do combined with most Americans’ resistance to the awesome combination of gymnastics and karate as demonstrated by 1984 Gold-medal winning Olympian Kurt Thomas, it was not unanticipated. Maybe I can get Monica and John to come over and put up my Gymkata poster…if their spouses will let them, that is.

Back at the Tadhana beach, Caleb defends Brad by pointing out that even though Candice took a shot at Monica by saying “Doin’ what she’s told,” that John could be accused of the exact same thing. Brad’s repays this allegiance by opining that he might want to get rid of Caleb as an olive branch to the other tribe because he has no loved one over there to get mad at him if he does (thanks, Colton!). Meanwhile, all that heat that Brad is taking has Hayden thinking maybe they should keep him around to the merge because he would keep the target off of them. But what if he or one of the other dudes get “Johnned” before then? Is it worth the risk?

NEXT: Galang is seriously the worst paddling tribe of all-time

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