Survivor recap: Drawing a Line in the Sand

The fight for Monica’s vote rages on. And the debate rages on as I rank Blood vs. Water against all the other Survivor seasons.
Ep. 13 | Aired Dec 11, 2013

TO BELIEVE OR NOT TO BELIEVE Monica had to weigh whether what Ciera was telling her was fact or fiction


Sure enough, Laura dominates and it comes down to the mother and daughter, who are even until Katie drops her key in the sand. That pretty much does it, as Tina races ahead, barely pausing to friend-check her own child to make sure she’s still invited over for the holidays after besting her. Here’s the back and forth:

TINA: “Katie, are you okay with this?”

KATIE: “It’s alright.”

TINA: “Are you sure?”

KATIE: “It’s okay.”

I put this entire exchange through my magical Survivor Truth Translator, and here is what came back:

TINA: “Katie, are you okay with the fact that even though I gave birth to you and have already played this game twice and even won the damn thing that I am just too damn competitive to allow you to beat me and extend your time playing by a few more days?

KATIE: “Ummmmm, NO! But now you’ve put me in a spot where I look like a major beyotch if I publicly ask you to let me win. Gee…thanks, mom!

TINA: “Sooooooo, if I’m hearing you correctly what you’re saying is that it is totally cool by you if I walk through this door and become the one responsible for eliminating you in this game and forcing you to awkwardly burn your buff and walk off to God knows where, right?”

KATIE “No, wrong! That’s totally wrong. But there are approximately 31 cameras on me right now and unless you want Dalton Ross to mercilessly mock me in his recap for pulling a Laura Boneham and asking you to completely sacrifice your game for my own, I don’t really have a choice but to say ‘Okay” right now, so…okay.”

I’ll admit it. I wanted Katie to say no, she was not, in fact, okay with it. But once again, that’s because I’m an evil, awful person and was dying to see how Tina would have reacted to such a move. I probably would have done that to my mom, just to see how she would have responded. Perhaps that’s why we’re not as close as she is with my sister. (Holy crap, am I working out my deep psychological issues here or what? At least I haven’t complained yet about all the misery rooting for the Washington Redskins has caused me in my lifetime. Okay, I guess I can now check that box off as well.)

So Katie burns her buff and takes the walk off shame out of Redemption Island Arena while Laura struts the useless clue over to Ciera. Not much happens after that until the challenge. Just Hayden climbing up trees, Gervase giving Monica a 1 to 10 test, and Hayden and Ciera formulating a plan to flip Monica (Key selling point: a complete absence of 1 to 10 tests!)

Hey, let’s go watch Jeff Probst check out his shoes again, shall we? “COME ON IN, GUYS!” It's challenge time, and they are finally back in the water! Granted, they are barely back in the water. You could pretty much just spray a hose over them for a few seconds and it would qualify as a water challenge this season. This time the contestants are only a few feet deep, but I’ll still take it. They must push a buoy along a submerged rope and through an obstacle. Once they make it to shore they must untie a bag of letter tiles to solve a “classic Survivor phrase.”

Producers had a chance to pretty much make my entire life if said phrase was “Wanna know what you're playing for?” It’s not, but I have to say the fact that they did choose a Probst-ism is flat out awesome. Jeff has always had a good sense of humor about his signature lines. He knows they’re kind of silly, but he also knows they have become undeniably weaved into the fabric of the show. Therefore I give two big enthusiastic thumbs up for the choice of “You are going to have to dig deep” as the puzzle answer.

NEXT: Ciera impresses…and then depresses

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