'American Horror Story' recap: Stranger Danger

The next day, at the abortion clinic, Ben promised to park himself in the waiting room and be there for Hayden when the procedure was over. But then he heard his phone ring in her bag, and he saw all those urgent messages from the wife he was betraying all over again – signal flares from a horror show unfolding in his very home. Ben dropped the bag and scrammed. We were left to wonder: Will we be seeing Hayden again? And if/when we do: Will she be with or sans that child?

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While Ben was away, Vivien was home feuding with Violet (who bristled at her mother for endangering her health -- and trying to fix her marriage -- with a new baby) and feeling out-of-sorts from her pregnancy. No, she didn't have morning sickness. And that was the problem. Unlike her previous pregnancies, this one had her feeling... fine. And feeling fine filled Vivien with discombobulation and fear. Now, for all we know at this point, Vivien's instincts could be correct. After all, she could be carrying a demonic little cobra in that womb. (By the way: "BRA 762" -- the license plate on that Shelby Cobra? BRA and 762 are acronyms and numerical codes, respectively, for different kinds of potential pregnancy complications.) But in the context of this episode, Vivien's angst was a metaphor for damaged people who can't discern good from bad, healthy from sick.

And with that, we come to the newest fetish freak to screw with Vivien. Some fun facts about Bianca Forest, a woman lost in the woods of her own mind.  She was a struggling actress. And she claimed to have a recurring dream of being cut in half while escaping the voice of Karen Carpenter singing through the speakers of a stalled elevator. “I’m on top of the world lookin’ down on creation/And the only explanation I can find/Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around/Your love’s put me on top of the world.” (So sad how our mountaintop dreams have devolved since 1968. But 40 years of cultural cynicism will taint you that way.) Ben suggested the dream represented some inner, unresolved pain. Bianca replied: Yes! I have internalized our culture’s despair since the "Age of Aquarius" failed to dawn, and I'm lost in the total eclipse of my heart! Where's my sunshine? LET THE SUNSHINE IN!" No, actually, she said this: “I just think I’m afraid of getting chopped in half.” Sock it to me!

Of course, maybe Bianca was making that whole thing up. (Inspired by that demon elevator movie Devil, no doubt.) After all, the only reason she took the session with Dr. Harmon was to case his house, all in preparation of chasing her true dream. Bianca was a member of a geeky-gross trio of horror fetishists that idolized nurse-killing Franklin. "Our Franklin," they called him. "He was the first. Before Manson. He changed the culture." The threesome had an awful desire: To pay "tribute" to Franklin by replicating his murders inside the Harmon house. Bianca’s dopey, demented associates: Guy and Fiona, who played the role of bloody-scalped doorknocker in the home invasion. Vivien wasn’t about to allow some druggy-pale white trash into her home  -- that much has changed since in 1968, too --  but she offered to call the police for the girl. But Bianca had cased well, and The Strangers found a way inside, anyway. Vivien was given the role of Maria. Violet was given the role of Gladys. The giggly ghouls got some jollies from fondling the very same ceramic bowl that Franklin used to bash Maria across the face and counted the minutes to copycat time…

Oh, but they were doomed from the start. An episode that began by reminding us of horror genre misogyny ended with Vivien and Violet – and a few surprise guests -- making fools of horror geeks. In the process, their rebellion revealed a few secrets about the house and suggested possibilities of its purpose. Vivien got a jump on Guy and brained him with his bowl. Meanwhile, Violet got a helpful tip from Tate, who despite being banished from her life and house by Ben earlier in the episode found a way back into both…because Tate is a spirit. The vigilant, violent specter told Violet: Get Fiona to the basement. Not a problem. Turned out the home’s original claw foot tub was downstairs. If the  freaky Franks wanted to get the tribute right, Violet told Fiona she’d have to drown her in the basement. (I loved Violet's intense cool throughout this sequence. And I laughed at the moment when Violet -- with her appreciation of absurdist, outsider art -- took a moment to admire and inquire about the nurse outfit Fiona wanted her to wear. "Vintage?" No, the copycat killer said: Just a knock-off.)

While Fiona marched Violet away, Tate took out Bianca, who was already a hurting unit: She had made mistake of eating one of Constance’s Ipecac-spiked cupcakes. A poisoned treat, from one witch to another. BARF! Tate gave Bianca a Lizzie Borden Heimlich – an axe chop to Bianca’s tainted tummy. (Don't try that one at home.) Timber! Down went Miserable Miss Forest.

NEXT: The Evil Empire of Undead Victims Strikes Back

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