'So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Almost Showtime

To quote the world's most sought-after hunk of man (Bret Michaels, naturally): Whatsagoinon?! I'm out one week — thereby missing not one, not two, but three SYTYCD episodes — and we still haven't found our top 20 dancers yet? Man, these producers are dragging out this process like it's a Days Of Our Lives Swamp Girl plotline.

Frustrating, yes, but even more so when you consider how little dancing we actually saw during last night's day two in Vegas. Sure, the episode paraded plenty of contestants in front of our eyes, but thanks to a ridiculous amount of camera cuts (did Paul Greengrass guest direct the show last night?), we were only able to catch short glimpses of each. And it's really too bad. Because we didn't need to see Nigel pacing about like a football coach, spouting hilarious-when-read-out-of-context phrases like ''You're caressing a woman's face there! You're not feeling a melon!'' and ''I want women here!'' (Sigh. Nigel, you just make this too easy.) Or Laurie Ann Gibson responding to a dancer's innocent marking question as if he had just asked her to fetch him Junior's cheesecake in Brooklyn. (''The audacity of you to ask me such a ridiculous question...Now dance!'')

That being said, we saw just enough of some dancers to know that they're hopping down a one-way street to the top 20. And I'd argue that one contestant is hiding a map to the finale in his back pocket. Just which contestant? Why, krumper Russell Ferguson, of course. Ever since his more-than-respectable foray into ballroom last week, I've had my eye on the guy. And then on day two, he proves he can perfect contemporary and Broadway? Insanity. Now, I will concede something suspicious is going on here — what with Russell insisting that he's never received formal training — but how can you not root for him? I've been searching for Joshua 2.0 for over a year, and Russell might just prove to be the perfect updated model. Therefore, regardless of the seemingly inevitable but-the-Internet-proves-he's-had-formal-training! scandal to come, I'll be clinging onto this contestant this season like Winona Ryder clings onto a sweater at Saks.

Another top 20 lock is Billy Bell, the contemporary dancer who has made it far, regardless of his inexperience and tendency to go all Drag Me To Hell on us. I, however, can't seem to get behind Billy 100 percent. His legwork is utter perfection, and worthy of marvel, considering he's only had five years to perfect his craft. His upper body, though, is still far too manic to not be distracting. It's just too strange of a dichotomy: He's Roberto Bolle on the bottom, Gumby on top. But then again, everyone loves an underdog, which might be the reason why Adam Shankman cried during Billy's solo routine (the only one we saw last night). That, or Tyce was farting out some serious tear gas.

NEXT: Mollee takes her slot

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