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YOUR MOMENT OF JEN A revamped season 2? Who cares -- all we really need is more J. Hud retro pastiche numbers.
Karen is confused. Did she not bestow upon these mere mortals the gift of song? Why aren't they crying tears of joy and kissing her feet, like the guests at the bar mitzvah, or the people at that one bar, or the people at the other nine bars? Even more bafflingly, Jimmy has stormed out of his own party after hearing the song. Please also note the unimpressed Brooklynites surrounding Karen, who are wondering who invited these weird theater kids in the first place.
Jimmy isn't mad because a girl he barely knows came to his party only so she could draw attention to herself. No, he's angry because he thinks Kyle "stole" his song. When Kyle says he was only trying to help by giving his music an audience, Jimmy snarls that he doesn't need anybody's help: "I write for myself!" But if a bartender belts a sappy ballad in an empty tavern, does he really make a sound? Anyway, bottom line: Jimmy refuses to show his work to anybody, which means he'll never succeed as either a musician or an algebra problem-solver. Karen storms away from him; leaving a scene in a huff is apparently Smash's new scarf.
Bruised and broken, Bombshell's creative team is ready to leave the party they shouldn't be at in the first place. But before they go, Eileen has one last idea: Since everyone there already thinks they're crazy, they might as well hijack the stage and perform a Marilyn song. Because Karen is caught in a storm -- or at least a subway tunnel -- Ivy's going to step in for this impromptu singalong.
And it's a good thing they got Ivy instead of Karen, because the song Eileen had in mind is a torchy, slow-burning number much better suited to Ivy's belt than Karen's pop precision. "They Just Keep Moving the Line" finds Marilyn bemoaning a business that won't stop demanding more and more from her. Sound familiar? Even if it's on the nose, Ivy sure sings the hell out of the song -- proving both that she definitely deserves stardom and that she would make an incredible Sally Bowles.
Eileen's crazy gambit actually leads to something good: the U.S. Attorney's wife was in the gala's audience, and she's helped pull some strings so that the team can resume work on Bombshell as long as it isn't for profit or public consumption. There's just one eensy fly in the ointment: Eileen's going to get the money she needs to fund the show from Jerry. Beware exes bearing loans, lady.
Everyone else is also making amends. Julia has ditched the marshmallow fluff for some apology muffins, which she gives to Tom along with a promise that she's done playing the sad sack. He responds with some tough love for his partner: "It's time to retire the scarves." Aw, nuts; now we need a new drinking game. Maybe take a swig every time Ivy looks sad?
NEXT: Poor, poor Ivy, whatcha gonna do?