Smash recap: And I Am Telling You I'm Not Revising

Eileen brings in a dramaturg to work on Bombshell's troubled book; unfortunately, he and Julia get along like Sharks and Jets
Ep. 03 | Aired Feb 19, 2013

WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU? Fun fact: A constant loop of this scene plays inside Karen's head at all times.

Will Hart/NBC

Peter's criticism has driven Julia (and Tom, by proxy) to write an entirely new song that's set in recorded history's sexiest location (Bing Crosby's house). The tune dramatizes JFK's seduction of Marilyn. It's the first real indication we've been given that there are any characters in Bombshell besides La Monroe, DiMaggio, and Darryl Zanuck, as well as one of the only songs in the show that isn't performed by Marilyn herself. Though the lyrics were clearly written in a single night -- "Outside of this room there's a cold war / But you'd never know it in here" -- the new ditty's energy is kind of cool and slinky, and Peter's clearly impressed with it. But the Wiz producer isn't -- and neither is Jimmy, who shows up at rehearsal just so that he can storm away angrily when a confused Derek asks who he is.

Karen follows Jimmy into the street without changing out of her costume and Marilyn wig, thus becoming Unsung Hero Stage Manager Linda's mortal enemy. The composer tells her that honestly, he really doesn't give a rat's ass about musical theater -- so much for "Broadway, Here I Come" -- but Kyle does, and he'd appreciate if Karen would stop jerking his fragile roommate around. Seems fair enough.

Julia is unbearably smug about the song she just wrote, which clearly proves that she doesn't need anybody's help while revising Bombshell's book. Peter rightly points out that she never would have written it if she hadn't been responding to his criticism, which is like, the whole point of a script doctor. How is a Julia who isn't weighed down by Frank, Leo, and Michael even less likable than one who is? Anyway, he wants her to recast Marilyn as the predator in the song rather than JFK. She doesn't want to because she automatically hates anything he suggests. Tom, meanwhile, wistfully wonders if maybe he should find another writing partner after all (Kyle! Kyle's available!).

While the Wiz guy hated Bombshell: Sexytimes Edition, Veronica Moore had the opposite reaction. Outside of the rehearsal building, she tells Derek that she'd like him to use his particular brand of classy sleaze while directing her in concert. (The event, naturally, will play for one night only.) Derek is intrigued by the idea, but he tells Ronnie that he'll have to take a rain check on discussing it that night...

... because he and Karen have to head to Brooklyn, where a stunned and stoned Jimmy and Kyle finally explain the plot of their musical, Hit List. The basic idea: A troubled young composer leaves his broken home and meets a rich girl who wants to be a pop singer. They hit it off, but then she disappears -- and stays gone until the composer realizes that she's gotten famous by stealing and singing his songs. Things get pretty dark after that, apparently, and everyone in the story ends up dead. "There's all these other characters, too," Kyle adds helpfully.

NEXT: An unholy alliance of Shakespeare, Gaga, and Moulin Rouge

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