Smash recap: And I Am Telling You I'm Not Revising

Eileen brings in a dramaturg to work on Bombshell's troubled book; unfortunately, he and Julia get along like Sharks and Jets
Ep. 03 | Aired Feb 19, 2013

WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU? Fun fact: A constant loop of this scene plays inside Karen's head at all times.

Will Hart/NBC

With a little elbow grease and even more beer, the guys manage to work their drunken scribblings into something resembling an outline -- except that a few key pages of it are missing. Jimmy realizes that they're in his old notebook, which he left in a mysterious other location. Kyle ominously exclaims that he "can't go back there," without naming where "there" is. This is so intriguing! Are they referring to Mr. Bumble's orphanage? The Cook County Jail? The Parisian street corner where they were forced to sell their teeth and hair? Nope -- it's just some random house, where a guy we don't recognize (an ex-roommate? An ex-lover??) hits Jimmy in his pretty face when he sneaks in to retrieve a few pages, neglecting to take his entire notebook. As you do.

While Jimmy's playing Artful Dodger, Karen and co. are running through "Moving the Line" in that sun-drenched rehearsal room. Practice becomes more urgent when Ronnie calls Derek -- see, Karen, she can use a phone -- to say that one of The Wiz's producers will be in town that night. If he's impressed by what Derek's working on, he just might change his mind about the noted sexual harasser and allow D to rejoin The Wiz as director.

Unfortunately, Karen's sleepy rehearsal performance wouldn't be enough to convince a producer to hire Derek for a community theater production of The King and I. The director is frustrated with his leading lady, and vice versa -- and look, here comes Ivy to make everything even more awkward. (In her defense, Derek didn't have the decency to tell her he was in rehearsal when she called him up and asked for a favor.) The ex-Marilyn has just enough time to sing a mournful, plaintive version of Robyn's "Dancing on my Own" in her imaginary Dream Theater of Jealousy before sulking off and wishing she hadn't thrown out all of her prescription pills.

Peter the Dramaturg thought he'd be able to enjoy a sophisticated dinner with his sophisticated friends -- but he didn't count on the screeching, bespectacled she-devil once known as Julia Houston, who tracks him down just so that she can yell at him about Bombshell some more. Peter, honey -- Eileen cannot be paying you enough. He takes Julia out into the street, which is where considerate people go to yell crazy things, and tells her that the show's main problem is that it has no sex. What, now you're telling me that Marilyn yelling "hot dogs!" in the middle of "The National Pastime" isn't sexy?! GOOD DAY TO YOU, PETER. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Poor, adorable Kyle sits all alone in the fancy restaurant where Derek and Karen were supposed to meet with him and Jimmy. In a perfect world, this scene would end with him deciding to find some better friends and collaborators; alas, Smash's world is far from perfect.

After deciding she didn't need the headache of asking Derek for advice, Ivy has chosen instead to turn to Tom. As they're discussing the role of Cecile, Ivy suddenly realizes something -- the wounded innocent she wants to play is actually another Marilyn in disguise! Does this make Valmont DiMaggio? No matter; Ivy now knows what angle she'll use in her audition, and she ends up getting the part. Bernadette Peters will feign excitement when she hears but secretly think that Ivy should have gone for the Marquise de Merteuil instead.

NEXT: Enter JFK, for some reason

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