Despite Jimmy's screw-ups, Hit List manages to score a standing ovation from everyone sans Eileen and Agnes. Even so, though, the producers Scott had hoped to woo don't seem head-over-heels in love with the show -- and they're on the fence enough that they're apparently swayed by an undercover Agnes, who muses that Hit List seems "a little culty, like Hedwig or Rocky Horror. It's a little edgy."
Waaaiiiit a minute. Because Hit List features drug use (presumably), a single gunshot, and, like, a bunch of Spring Awakening-inspired jumping around, it's "too edgy" for Broadway? These guys do realize that a play about a dude who likes having sex with a goat ran for 309 performances on Broadway over a decade ago, right? Say it's unpolished, say it's unfocused, say it's more like a glorified concert than a cohesive musical -- but do not try to convince us that "edge" is the reason a producer may choose not to bring Hit List uptown.
Ahem. Let's switch focus to the bar where Hit List's cast and hangers-on have converged. Everyone's having a grand old time -- Kyle's adorable mother is asking Karen to sign her program! Ana's discussing her aerial acrobatics, which are apparently in the show for real! -- when Jimmy swans in, high as a kite. His buzz is quickly harshed when Kyle quietly informs him that he's out of the show as soon as Sam can get himself off book. And since Sam currently has nothing to do but watch sports games and poke at his Tom voodoo doll, that's due to happen sooner rather than later.
Then Jimmy climbs onto the bar, and for a moment I hope against hope that he's about to serenade us with a growling, angry rendition of "One Way Or Another." Alas, he's not; he's simply going to deliver one last, bitter "f--- you" to everyone he blames for his problems, particularly Karen and Kyle. And as the cherry on top of his bile sundae, he informs Kyle's cute lighting designer boyfriend that Kyle slept with Tom last week.
At that, Ana steps in and practically wrestles Jimmy off his bully pulpit (accent on the bully). But the damage has already been done -- especially after Jimmy adds in one last dig about how Kyle's totally in love with him. Kyle finally decides to just cut Jimmy off cold turkey, and that very night he hand-delivers a bag full of his ex-BFF's junk to Slim Shady's drug den. He walks away, tears welling... and unfortunately, he's concentrating too hard on singing Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye" to see the car that's barreling toward him. So long, sweet, simple Kyle! Take comfort in knowing that you just helped Jimmy Collins win a Pulitzer. Actually, wait -- can a man be posthumously arrested?
NEXT: Next week, on "Unappealing Characters Arguing: The Series"