Unfortunately, Julia can’t enjoy the positive feedback. She’s too livid after hearing that Tom’s actually pressing pause on Gatsby because he wants a crack at City of Angels -- news Julia has to hear from Rosie O’Donnell, of all people. Insult to injury alert!
If Karen and Ivy can smooth things over, though, there’s hope for Smash’s latter-day Will and Grace yet. The old Marilyn runs into the new Marilyn at the opening’s after party -- and, after a bit of awkwardness, Ivy confesses that she can’t stop comparing her own performance to Karen’s. Karen responds by playing the old “no, you’re not fat, I’M the cow” trick: “No one could have been better than you tonight,” she tells Ivy. “Not... me. Not anyone. Not even Marilyn Monroe herself.” You might be laying it on a bit thick there, Iowa – but Ivy, naturally, eats the praise up with a spoon, good-naturedly enthusing about making “the magical Karen Cartwright” jealous. Aww -- what is this strange, warm feeling in my chest? Could it be... happiness?
Aaaand here comes Jimmy, screwing everything up right on schedule. Ana does, in fact, appear to be dating Slim Shady, a.k.a. Adam, a.k.a. the Sour Patch Kid’s bad-boy brother. She brings him to the after party, and it’s not long before Kyle and then Jimmy himself have picked a fight with the drug-dealing so-and-so. You’ve got to love Eileen’s nonchalant response to the scuffle -- she simply rolls her eyes, tosses a whole bucket of ice on the wrestling boys, and commands them to get the hell out of her party. If only she had had a gigantic martini handy instead of that ice.
Ooo, look -- Scott has increased the magnification on his phone to truly heroic levels in order to share that anxiously-awaited Times review with Bombshell’s team. It’s not an unqualified rave -- Tom’s direction is labeled “overblown,” and the reviewer wonders why his work and Julia’s seem to be out of synch. It is, however, pretty positive about everything else, which prompts Eileen to declare that she intends Bombshell to run longer than The Lion King. (One performance down; 6,411 to go.) And in order to get there, she and publicist Agnes are going to see to it that Bombshell sweeps the Tonys. Good thing there won’t be any other buzzy shows created by, say, former collaborators competing with Marilyn!
After that thrilling, aforementioned Karen/Ivy duet of “That’s Life” -- accompanied by Marc Shaiman himself, no less! -- the party starts to wind down. Julia goes home with Scott, who encourages her to just write a Gatsby play by herself; Tom goes home with Kyle, of all people, who’s just a few steps above Terrible Ellis in terms of creepy bedwarmers. Derek, too, doesn’t go home alone -- though he has to settle for someone other than his Miss Monroe, who’s just discovered that Derek only sought her out after Karen rejected him (again). As a newly-minted Broadway star, Ivy is nobody’s sloppy seconds -- and she’s also dignified enough to simply turn Derek down without sharing precisely why she’s turning him down. Go Ivy!
Derek, though, has bigger things to worry about than Ivy’s affections -- because he and Scott have pledged to fast-track Hit List’s own transfer to Broadway. Anyone excited for Karen. Vs. Ivy, Round Infinity? ...Anyone?