Cyrus' most comically unbelievable plan is about to go into action, and Sally is shell-shocked. A military doctor comes to take a closer look at Daniel Douglas' body, and Sally snaps out of it just in time to keep the doctor from undressing her clearly stabbed husband. Is Cyrus really going to get away with this one? No autopsy in such a high-profile death? I don't know, guys. There is one person in D.C. who doesn't care to get into the details: Mellie, who gleefully visits Cy's office to tell him the "good news" of Daniel Douglas' heart attack. Of course, she soon learns that Cyrus is well aware of his passing. "Hell hath no fury like a woman whose husband is screwing another man," he tells the first lady as he drinks his morning booze.
But if you want a worse taste in your mouth than murder and 10 a.m. scotch, how about a man telling his mistress' father about all the things he's doing to his little girl between the sheets. Um, Fitz? Gross. This is meant to make Eli squirm, and it has the same effect on the viewer. "The things I could tell you about the way she tastes..." Fitz says to Olivia's FATHER. Listen, I've rooted for Olitz to make it work, but this made me cringe. And after that display, Eli responds in a totally appropriate manner: By referring to the immature president as a "boy" and calling him out for never loving Olivia, but instead loving the escape from reality she provides. "You love that she is a door marked exit," Eli barks. "Don't use the person that I made to make yourself into a man. You are a boy." Emmy voters, meet Joe Morton.
Olivia is focused on a different parent right now: Abby lays out everything she's learned about Maya. While living under many assumed identities across the globe, her job was to steal classified documents from high-level officials -- hence, her marriage of convenience to the B613 chief. But Abby argues that she doesn't have blood on her hands, so maybe she served her time. We'll see about that...
Back in the B613 love nest, Quinn is remembering simpler times when her only worry was whether to get highlights. Charlie calms Quinn down by telling her she's free to leave whenever and that her hair is beautiful as is. I know he's a hit man, but are we beginning to like Quinn and Charlie together? Maybe I'm just wistfully remembering him as the cute fiancé from Father of the Bride, but romantic Charlie is starting to grow on me.
NEXT: Defiance all over again?