The Real Housewives of New Jersey recap: 'One Flew Over the Chicken's Nest'

In the calm aftermath of the first responders party, evidence continues to pile up in the case of the Marcheses v. everyone else.
Ep. 05 | Aired Aug 10, 2014

LIAR, LIAR, HAIR ON FIRE Amber can't seem to get her story straight with Melissa, but has taken complete ownership of the villain role this season.

Bravo

Just in case you missed the end of last week's explosive first responders party that continued into tonight's episode, let's catch you up; everybody hates Jim and Amber. Good, now you're caught up.

After calling Joe Gorga a dumbf---, Jim tried to leave the party with Amber calmly out the front door. But this is Jersey, so nothing remains calm for long. Joe Gorga quickly went after the two to continue to defend his (new-found) love for his brother-in-law Joe Giudice. One year ago these two were fighting against each other, now they are fighting for each other. This would be the part where the live studio audience would say "awwww," but we are still talking about physical violence, so let's not sugarcoat an already sticky situation. In fact, there is so much love now in the Gorga/Giudice world that Melissa and Teresa (and Rino and a bunch of other people) follow Joe outside. Joe Giudice, however, remained indoors. See—people do change and learn!

Joe Gorga was (rightfully) only willing to apologize for spitting in Jim's face while getting a little too close for comfort for everyone, especially Jim, who could only hurt a fly if he had a deposition planned against him. Seriously, the way this guy abuses his power through his job and throws it around like it's a potential threat against everyone is simply disgusting. "I'm trained as an attorney. If I want to hurt you, I'm going to sue you." As if Joe and Theresa need another legal run-in...

Still in her sexy nurse costume, Teresa tries to find a calm moment with Jim and Amber (see above: doesn't last long) but once again Jim stretches the truth about why he didn't want to interact with the Joes during guys' night out. Once Dina and Melissa joined in on the conversation, Jim took it as an attack, so he attacked them back the only way he knows how, with his words. Let's let this exchange between Jim and Dina explain the rest.

"Does anyone here have an IQ above 12?" –Jim
"You have a very condescending way of talking to people." –Dina
"I'll talk however I choose." –Jim
"The magnitude of his douchebaggery could clean a whale's vagina." –Dina

Oh how I would have loved for that last line to be said to directly to his face, but a confessional will do, too. As the party actually seems to settle down and Jim and Amber leave, the hosts themselves (Bobby and Nicole) start to fight with each other because at this point why not? There really is no other explanation except for bad vibes and energy in the air and everyone starts to realize that. Amber was able to completely dilute the situation to focus the attention on anyone else besides her.

NEXT: Putting Humpty Dumpty back together again

Latest Videos in TV

Advertisement

From Our Partners