The Real Housewives of New Jersey recap: 'Trash-talking'

New and old friendships are tested as Amber and her husband, Jim, quickly become everyone's new enemies.
Ep. 03 | Aired Jul 27, 2014

JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT: Teresa gets worked up when a medium predicts the worst for Joe's legal case.

Bravo

This week's RHONJ tries to begin on a lighter note, with a taste-test party for Teresa's new line of desserts, but the undercurrents of Teresa's stress are always there. Milania Giudice might not know what anxiety means, but her mother sure has a lot of it. Add in the strained relationship of housewives Amber and Melissa, which they decide to hash out during the evening, and you have a perfect recipe for a Housewives party.

But at least the party was beneficial for viewers because we learned that Amber is an actress. And, no, I don't just mean the facade and characterization of herself that she is portraying on Bravo weekly. (You mean you haven't you seen her family's mortgage commercials?) But it seems the best role Amber knows how to play is pot-stirrer, and once again she brings up the twins behavior at her harvest party. First, she had said that they had invited too many of their own friends, but now it sounds like Amber is implying that the two invited themselves. But Nicole's boyfriend, Bobby, is Amber's husband Jim's best friend so that doesn't make sense, but nothing does with this one. Out of nowhere, she tells Melissa that she heard a rumor that Nicole had broken up someone's marriage. "I don't want to be a gossip, but I feel like I can trust Melissa," she says in confessional. Well what about the millions of people who just heard you say that on national television?

Back to the intended main event: the desserts. Teresa blindfolded everyone to enhance their dining experience, which is something Melissa definitely wouldn't have trusted Teresa to do at the beginning of last season. It's nice to see some relationships can progress. With her kids around the house, Teresa is showing everyone how strong she is being for her family in this difficult and complicated time. Amber decides to take that as an opportunity to show (fake?) her own vulnerability and compares what she went through to what Teresa was going through. Comparing cancer and mortgage fraud is a real reach and only makes Amber look worse.

Even though he still has a house to build, Joe Gorga has decided to get into the garbage business. Correction: Joe Gorga has decided to get into the "extremely important document smushing business." Essentially, Joe invested "millions of dollars" in a large electric blue truck that disintegrates classified government documents. Melissa worries however that they will end up living in the truck instead. Amber's husband, Jim, is also one who likes to bring his work home with him by using his family in commercials for his mortgage company. (Hmmm, mortgage—isn't that what Teresa and Joe are being charged with fraud of?) Jim is quite possibly one of the douchiest and most hypocritical househusbands ever to be featured on the franchise. He likes to discipline his kids to an extreme that makes it uncomfortable for us viewers to watch and then suddenly goes behind his wife's back apparently once a month and gives his children McDonald's and non-organic ice cream.

But I guess hypocrites attract. When Amber and Melissa go out to dinner, Amber still can't seem to get over the fact or even believe at all that Melissa was unaware of her cancer diagnosis. She brought up Melissa's music career and then asked her if she were diagnosed with something like cancer and had to chose between singing and her family, what would she pick? Yup, she actually asked Melissa that question and then went on to say, "It never crossed my mind that you might not have known; I just thought you were a coldhearted bitch." It takes one to know one.

NEXT: Jim v. Joes


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