Revenge recap: A Tale of Two Sapphic Blondes

Emily shares her secret, Victoria and Conrad are positively cuddly, and a certain Hamptonite goes to jail
Ep. 07 | Aired Nov 11, 2012

ROYAL PAINS Daniel makes a move against Conrad, proving he’s just a chip off the old Grayson block.

ABC

Revenge got really artsy with the opening this week, didn’t it? The fish-eye view of Victoria in bed, the creepy slo-mo of Conrad nearly shaving half his face off (that was a lot of blood), Kara crumpling the newspaper in wounded frustration -- all watched by Emily on high like some sort of god (or producer of The Truman Show). I guess that makes the title of this episode, “Penance,” particularly fitting, given the religious connotations of the word. And yet, for our protagonist, we didn't see penance so much as a deal with the devil. Emily sold her soul this week. Now it’s just a matter of when she pays up.

After the artsy intro, Emily gets a visit from Mason. I knew he couldn’t have figured out exactly what Amanda and Emily’s connection was, but the two as lesbian lovers? That doesn’t even seem like much of a scandal to me. Granted, I’m not tangling with one of the richest families in the Hamptons, but it’s the 21st century! Surely we could forgive two teenage girls for a dalliance. Emily chases off Mason even as he threatens to expose the two Sapphic blondes’ so-called plot against the Graysons.

Kara’s supposedly packing up her stuff to leave when she asks Victoria for a credit card number to book her flight out of there. Victoria promises she’ll take care of it. Wow, now there’s someone ripe for identity theft. Why in the world would you hand your credit card number over to the former wife of the man you cheated on your husband with? That’s just asking for trouble. Back at Emily’s, we learn that Ems and Aiden have got 24 hours to position Daniel as head of Grayson Global because the prosecutors will be dropping the case against Conrad. Emily reveals that her mother is getting the hell out of dodge, and Aiden grabs her hand to tell her he’s sorry, but Ems says she knows it’s for the best.

Jack and Amanda are discussing their impending nuptials when Amanda gets a call from Mason inviting her to lunch. Amanda storms off to Emily’s where she outright threatens to kill Mason (no “sleeping with the fish” metaphors for this former pole dancer), claiming it’s the only way she can keep up the charade of her Cinderella life. Emily, the unlikely voice of reason, points out that killing Mason may not the best way to keep her new family, given that she’d probably be taken to jail and all that. Instead, Ems tells Amanda to call Mason and cancel the lunch, which she does, adding that she’ll get a restraining order against him if she ever sees him again. (Did you catch Mason’s voicemail message? Priceless.)

NEXT: Nolcorp has a rather lackluster cleaning staff.


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