Wow. Just wow. I cannot get over how utterly nuts last night’s episode was. This was the Revenge I missed. And I didn’t even know it. Bombshell after bombshell was dropped on “Engagement” -- and all in the last 10 minutes. It almost makes me feel hope for season 3. Sure, the show derailed this year. But if this week's episode is even a taste of what we're in store for next week, then count me in.
So, I suppose we did see the engagement ring last episode (and last season), but I don’t remember it being that big. I mean, it's huge. Can you even wear a wedding band with a ring like that? Still, I loved the giant chessboard touch. Random for a rooftop, and yet the perfect symbol of the dual nature of engagement! Kudos, set designers. Emily’s planned a special sit-down with Daniel -- she’s trying to make up for their shoddy engagement last year by purchasing two tickets to Paris. Permanently.
Declan wins boyfriend of the year. He just found out that his GF abandoned him to go clubbing in New York and make out with other girls, and his only response is: “She’s in a really dark place.” Charlotte, stop what you’re doing. I don’t like Declan, but you are not going to find better. While Charlotte is off hiding from the world for sheer embarrassment, Declan’s raiding Jack’s penny jar for change to ride the bus. He asks Jack for a ride, but no can do: Jack’s meeting Ashley. As he heads for the bus, Declan tosses off this priceless joke that must be commemorated here: Why are you supposed to bury a politician 100 feet down? “Cause deep down they’re really good people.” I may have just warmed up to Declan in a single scene.
Victoria’s surprised that Conrad was willing to give up control of Nolcorp, but Conrad insists that all he wants for her is to hasten recovery of long-lost son. Which is true to a degree, in that it will help his campaign. Turns out, Victoria’s been receiving countless letters from orphans attempting to claim the throne. The sooner they find the real kid, the better.
Daniel reveals that he and Emily are re-engaged. Conrad offers his congratulations and obviously Victoria is just as thrilled. “How repetitious,” she says sweetly, adding that she hopes that the two of them opt for a long engagement this time. “Actually, quite the opposite,” answers Emily. They’re getting married in two weeks and they’re moving to Paris. Surprise!
Victoria is trying to talk Daniel out of this rash decision. She admits that she made plenty of mistakes in her life. “The difference is I don’t make them twice,” she says. “Except bastard children, I guess,” Daniel shoots back smoothly. Touché, sir. Conrad confesses that he’s always had a soft spot for Emily, but he’s especially thrilled at the bump he’ll get in the polls for the engagement. Daniel can’t even be bothered by his parents’ selfishness: He just wants to get his hands on his trust fund and enjoy the Eiffel Tower. There’s just the teensy matter of, erm, firing Aiden Mathis.
NEXT: Victoria, queen of manipulative emotional showdowns