This week’s Revenge kicked it off just the way I like it: niiice and steamy. Aiden and Ems toss and turn in the sheets in sexy slo-mo, getting closer than we’ve seen them all season -- until Aiden isn’t Aiden anymore, but Daniel. Emily pauses for only a second before pulling him in for a kiss and then -- Her eyes open, morning light’s streaming into her room… It was all dream. But forget that; let’s just talk about the fact that Dream Emily did go for Dream Daniel. Someone’s got some unresolved issues towards an old ex…
Over at the Graysons’, Conrad’s once again enjoying some much needed me time when Victoria interrupts to ask why he’s not helping Daniel, yada, yada, yada. A little sympathy would be nice Vicks. I mean, his son did sweep his company out from under him. Surely the man deserves to read the paper for 20 minutes without being bothered. Victoria informs Conrad about Jason Prosser’s bid for Stonehaven, but Conrad couldn’t be less interested. He’s got politics on the brain -- he’s decided he’s going to clean up the docks and he wants Victoria by his side. Ashley chooses this moment to make her appearance. She’s Conrad’s new communications director and Victoria could not be more pissed. “Politicians tend to keep their concubines in the closet,” she informs Conrad. “Spoken like a woman that no one’s sleeping with,” Ash shoots back in my favorite line of the episode (and a rather spoiler-y one at that, but I get ahead of myself).
Emily strolls along the beach to see Aiden. “I needed an honest moment,” she says as she hugs him. “I miss you.” You just want to make yourself feel better after a dirty dream, don’t you Ems? “Thank you for breaking the mood,” she adds, referring to the previous night's sit-down with Aiden. “How are you doing?” Aiden asks. “As well as a woman leading on her ex fiancé could possibly feel about herself.” Oh please, Emily. Aiden just found out his sister might be alive and you’re complaining about having to lead a boy on? Bit insensitive, no? Emily reveals that Daniel’s taking her for oysters (“Subtle,” deadpans Aiden), then finally asks how Aiden’s doing with the whole Colleen thing. “I can subsist on hope,” he says. He has no other choice. Helen’s holding all the cards.
Nolan and Padma are getting it on! Actually, no they’re not. They’re laying fully clothed in a bed together staring at the ceiling. “You had the seller stage this place with all my favorite décor,” Nolan accuses. That’s right! The two are house shopping together. But all I can think of are various colorful swear words. Nolan, she’s using you! Stop being all lovey dovey, right now. “Nothing’s perfect,” he sweetly tells Padma. “Except maybe you.” Agh!
NEXT: Daniel’s idea of lunch is a six-hour flight to the opposite coast of the United States.