The Real Housewives of New Jersey recap: 'Going Away' Party

The first big fight of the season goes down between Teresa and Melissa; the rift between Jacqueline and Teresa begins to show
Ep. 03 | Aired May 6, 2012

DON'T THESE LADIES LOOK EXOTIC? If you could only hear what was coming out of their mouths.

Bravo

Hey Jerseyites! Unfortunately I wasn't able to write a full recap last night due to a personal emergency -- or maybe I was too distraught after seeing Teresa fired on The Celebrity Apprentice! -- and I apologize, because it was the first eventful episode of the year.

You know, after the first two episodes of the season, I thought there was an outside chance that Teresa had a point in some of these arguments. Maybe the other women were pecking at her too much. Maybe they were a little jealous that she's become the "star" of the show. But her blowout argument with Melissa showed that Teresa has a pathological problem with denial. There might be an actual mental issue here, and Teresa embarrassed herself on two different TV networks by not being able to argue coherently. Over on NBC, Lisa Lampanelli destroyed her in a negotiation over models on The Celebrity Apprentice; on Bravo, Melissa couldn't even decisively win the argument because Teresa was spewing absolute nonsense -- there was nothing for Melissa to work with.

There was a lot leading up to the fight at the summer Solstice party (which was supposed to be about peace and painting "third eyes" on foreheads), but the gist of argument was, Teresa didn't like that Melissa mentioned Juicy Joe's DUI and imprisonment even though Teresa had just mentioned it herself. It was all about semantics, basically, because Teresa would prefer that the whole world would use the words "went away" in reference to Juicy's situation instead of the actual truth, and no one should use the word "jail," ever, under any circumstance. Also, Teresa got mad at Melissa for being mad that Teresa told Juicy that Melissa's the sort of woman who'd leave him for a richer man. Doesn't make any sense? Welcome to Teresa's delusional world.

The seeds of Teresa's falling out with Jacqueline -- which we all know is coming -- were sewn this week. Jacqueline once again found herself in the middle of a tense feud, and Teresa was angry at her for not sticking by her side despite all reason. Proud of you, Jacqueline! I have to say, Melissa and Jacqueline came across well in this episode, and I was surprised how calm Kathy and Richie took it when Teresa tried to goad them into an argument about Richie and Juicy's fight. (Yeah, Teresa, Juicy was being the bigger man when he tried to grab another man's privates). On the other hand, Posche Kim looked like a complete moron for defending Teresa and suggesting that she run past the other ladies in her car. Way to make the situation better!

Aside from the Solstice Smackdown, I have to mention the Lauren Manzo weight loss storyline. Watching it, my estimation of Caroline fell a bit. I've just seen this happen in so many families where one child is different from the others for whatever reason, whether it's weight, ability, sexual orientation, etc., and the parents don't adequately protect that child from the harsh words of the other children. I know the Manzo kids are adults, but Lauren has probably had to deal with this her whole life, and it seems to be turning her into a bitter person. After her entire family continually ribbed her about her size and looks at the dinner table, Lauren completely closed off, and that was sad to see. Caroline weakly defended her, but it kind of looked like she thought her sons' and husband's behavior was more adorable than hurtful.

Whose side are you on regarding the whole "going away" vs. "jail" argument? Should Teresa apologize to Melissa? Do you hope Lauren loses weight and maybe branches away from her family?

Apologies for the late/shortened recap. Regular recaps will return next week!

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