For the most part it was a street fight between the two most polarizing women from D.C. Cat did a lot of sneering at Michaele for being an empty, shallow, pitiful, inexcusable, contemptible, ridiculous fraud. Michaele, amused by the woman's attacks, shot back that if Cat had any love in her heart maybe her husband would come back to her. At least she's married, yo. That one made Mary gasp!
It was hard to tell which of the women won the back-and-forth drubbing, as both of them are tough-to-the-point-of-stale cookies. I have to give it to Michaele though, as she managed to contort her face into a ugly smear at a moment's notice to prove the fact that Cat is a mean girl who makes everyone, okay maybe just her, cry.
At one point I started feeling frustrated with my Andy Cohen. He sat there too often and just let Michaele and Cat go at it, unwilling or unable to ever slap them into accountability. And then came the subject of pom-poms, and dear Andy finally found a bone to latch onto, and not let go. The problem with Michaele is that she is a liar, and a very good one at that, so she is often too smart and cagey to get trapped in her web of nonsense. And so she was able to sit there with a benign smile on her face, pleading obliviousness, as Andy said there was no documentation that she had been a Redskins cheerleader, that the head of the Redskins cheerleaders denied her participation, and that Michaele's own brother had come out and said his sis didn't bleed burgundy and gold. And yet Michaele remained calm, and said she had in fact trotted out on the field for a game or two and alumni sch-mlumli and if you have love in your heart you can cheer for the world.
Andy, in his finest moment, would not rest! "So you hopped on the field twice?" he demanded. "On the show you said you were a Redskins cheerleader." Michaele shrugged. "Right, because that's what I've been told to say by the alumni." There was a collective groan in the room, with Andy moaning "it's a circle! it's a circle!," and still Michaele remained unruffled. She's one of those infuriating brands of shameless that makes anyone trying to reason with her feel like the crazy one in the room.
Mary, rocking a richer shade of brown hair, stayed pretty quiet. I do wish Stacie or Andy had nudged her some more about her "integrated salons" bit. Stacie, who admittedly should've owned that she had in fact been implying that Cat was a racist throughout the season, had a good point about her friend's behavior. She wondered if Mary was aware that when she was talking to black people she could sometimes change her vernacular or start wagging her finger as white women seem compelled to do. It was an honest, unaggressive question that floated over Mary's head. "I'm a mimic?" she explained. Ugh.
NEXT: There will be no solos for Tareq, thanks very much!