The Real Housewives of New York City recap: Gangster Chic, C'est la Vie

Ramona wants an invite on the London trip. Heather denies her one. Ramona go boom.
Ep. 04 | Aired Jun 25, 2012

DON'T MAKE HER PUT A WINE GLASS ON YOUR HEAD Ramona's got her enunciating face on.

You know times are tough when an episode opens with a couple of Housewives discussing their breakfast on the way to lunch. Carole ate a sugar cookie, which is code for she's sexy and devil-may-care. Aviva ate a hard-boiled egg. Which she does every morning. She'd try a croissant, maybe, but first she'd like to talk to Reid about it because Reid is kind of her security blanket on these matters and she's kind of nervous that there might not be cage-free eggs in London so she's not going on the girls' trip.

Ramona arranged an intimate lunch with two potential allies so that meant Aviva and Carole, and Carole's house guest too!, were gifted with new samples from her TruRenewal skin-care line. Blah blah blah, how are you, let's get down to the brass tacks of Heather's big mouth. "She talks a lot," Carole allowed, which made Ramona's eyes snap to attention. What'd you say?! No, the first part. Say it again. Louder. Say it direct, bitch. "I said she talks almost as much as you do?" said Carole. Aviva agreed that Heather does talk a little too much and it can sometimes feel like the woman speaks in monologues. So much talking about a woman talking too much. In the meantime, Ramona will cut that waiter's balls off if he doesn't bring Carole another half-order of pasta immediately. Her guests will leave satiated or she will burn this mother to the ground.

Meanwhile LuAnn was at another restaurant poking Sonja with a stick. Are you the New York Cynthia Bailey? she demanded. Is Ramona your boss? Sonja insisted that she wasn't scared of Ramona but that of course the woman can come on a little strong and it could be hard to stare directly into her eyes when they opened to their full capacity. Ask Mario, she said. Even he sometimes has to draw the line with Ramona. (Cut to Ramona's viewing party where she looked at her husband upon hearing this and kicked him in the tuna burger.) And another thing, tennis makes Sonja dizzy.

Poor Tripp, the available guy who lives in Carole's building. The two mosied over to the Occupy Wall Street protests to check out the scene.  "One person's mob is another person's democracy," said Carole, grinning knowingly as if she had said something profound. She worked for ABC News for 10 years so she was really in her element. A little fuchsia paint on her shoulder from a street artist? Bring it on. A late lunch al fresco after 20 minutes of observation? Evokes memories of her time in Afghanistan. "What'd you think of the protests?" Tripp asked her. "I think any protest is a great protest," she said. " Do you think we're part of the 1%? I think we are." Agreed. And that purple paint isn't the washable kind.

NEXT: Ramona and Heather are neither new friends nor new acquaintances.

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