HI ANDY. HI ANDY. HI ANDY! HI ANDY. HI ANDY. HEY THERE ANDY.
Camille shines, Brandi amuses, and Taylor creepy-smiles through her rage and pain.| Published Feb 7, 2012
You know how in the typical Part 2 of a bloated Housewives reunion special the action lags and you wonder 20 minutes in if you should just call it a night? What those shows lacked, we now know, is a welcome shot of Brandi. She's my Season MVP for sure. The woman is a weirdly articulate trash bomb of a gal—unapologetically randy, keenly observant and entering the ring with firm sense of self. She inspires drama without seeming hell-bent on manufacturing it. (See: Atlanta's Marlo.) Andy, who is clearly tickled by her, wisely invited her to stay on the sofa for the entire hour.
So not only did Brandi get the opportunity to call out poopy stink when she heard it, but there was good behind-the-scenes dirt and revealing exchanges that'll set a Season 3 up nicely. Brandi oopsy daisy got busted for calling Kyle a c--- in a text meant for someone else. Russell told Brandi that it was Taylor all along who made him send the threatening email to Camille. Meanwhile Lisa took every opportunity to speak up on behalf of Brandi but she let Kyle smirk alone to herself on the other sofa. That friendship is most likely done. Adrienne sneeringly doubted that Lisa would indeed let Jack Pot sip from one of her champagne flutes. Lisa, astonished to once again be second-guessed by the Hoof, shot her back a look of weary disgust. Don't expect a scene of Adrienne inviting Lisa over for jujitsu lessons next season. (First you have to hand-wash your mat, then you aim the sole of your foot straight for Paul's nose.)
I dare say that the montage of scenes of Kyle being cackly about Brandi was more damning than the limo scene in Season 1. She didn't do herself any favors by then sitting huffy on her sofa, shooting Brandi looks of wicked derision any time the blonde piped up. "Okay, so you call yourself a slut readily," said Andy, reminding us all why his is the best job ever. "Is that a defense mechanism." Cut to Kyle looking meanly amused. And, as she managed to all season, Brandi answered honestly and with some wit. "I'm not a slut but like I said, I wish I was because sex is fun." (Okay y'all. It doesn't read witty but that is part of the woman's endearing charm.) Brandi defended her choice of bikinis in Hawaii, and then wondered who were the married men in her midst besides Mauricio and Ken. Oh right Paul, but that's a question mark there. Adrienne's smile turned extra acidic, as she imagined which Palms henchman she would hire to take out Brandi's leg after the Reunion. Listen, Brandi said, she's been wearing itsy bitsies her whole life... "Since you were two years old, ha ha ha!" Kyle laughed to her sofa allies. Claws in, hon.
Carol from Silver Spring, Md.—(not Silver Springs Andy, that's my home town!)—accused Kyle of being a mean girl, particularly on the infamous Game Night. "I agree," Kyle wisely acknowledged, before attributing her frazzled nerves to her concern over her sister. Lisa took the opportunity to speak up for Brandi, claiming she called the woman after the show aired to apologize for talking cattily about her. "I was mortified," said Lisa, as Kyle sat there boiling. "When I saw it played back I realized that it really wasn't how it'd been explained to me."
Then Taylor piped up and, with wild eyes, called Brandi out for threatening to kill the Sisters. It was an expression, pffted Lisa. Andy brought up the fact that Kim hid Brandi's crutch and Kyle did nothing to help. "All I wanted to do is leave and I couldn't," laughed Brandi. Again Kyle did herself no favors by, taking a play out of Kelly Bensimon's book, looking snidely at her nemesis and shushing her. "Brandi, Brandi, Brandi, give it a rest." Oh no you don't, not on new-and-improved Andy Cohen's watch. "Well I'm asking about it," he gently scolded Kyle, in one of his many surprise moments of actually pushing the Housewives farther than their managers and publicists had told them to go.
NEXT: Who talks like that?