The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: A Housewives Divided

An arms-clenched Kennedy endured another birthday party; Camille wisely stayed home.
Ep. 12 | Aired Nov 21, 2011

PLANET BETRAYAL Tea party, schmea party. Adrienne can't believe Lisa chose didn't pick The Palms to host Pandy's party.

Evan Vestal Ward

The episode picked up once more at the now infamous tea party. The cords in Camille's neck were still throbbing, her voice pointed and serious as she demanded some truth from Taylor. "You come over and you don't have any signs of physical abuse on your body," she said, her hands splaying across her taut chest. Whoa, said a clearly stunned Taylor. Uncool. "Yes, it's really uncool, but you set it up Taylor." You! You! Camille cleared out, and took my heart with her. Taylor looked frozen, more so than usual. Kyle just sat there, head bowed and voyeuristic eye cocked. Lisa appeared totally flummoxed, unsure of her hostess duties at this point. Bid adieu to a shaking Camille, ask an unhinged Taylor if she'd like more tea, or simply dive into Giggy's pram while screaming for Ken to put an end to all the inelegance?

Instead she kneeled behind her sofa, as if seeking cover, and talked soothingly to her remaining guests. (Adrienne? Yo Adrienne!!!) Taylor  just couldn't believe that Camille went there. "Well you know what, it's been skating around it for so long," said Lisa. "As I said Taylor, I believed what you said about your marriage, to me, initially, that's why I didn't like him." You didn't like meeeee, whined Taylor. "I was confused by you," Lisa corrected. But I neeeeeeeeded you, whined Taylor. Somehow a whimpery Taylor ended up forgiving Lisa, Lisa found herself at once humbled and comforted by their conflict and resolution, and Kyle sat there watching the whole thing unfold with her finger down her throat. "That's resolved?" she gagged, her face twisted in disbelief. However harsh her response to Taylor and Lisa's bats--t meeting-of-the-minds, there was genuine reason to be baffled. "We're going to be friends," pronounced Taylor, sounding like a Rebecca DeMornay character one act away from trying to murder the wife. "Pinky swear?"

Yikes! Okay, some quick hits: The stress of the Golden Gate Bridge artwork created a momentary rift between new roommates Kim and Ken. But there's just no talking an Arabian horse out of her cockeyed decorating ideas. Speaking of decorating, Faye Resnick was desperate to get some color into the Umansky home but first Kyle needed to unload some of her confusion about Taylor's tales of abuse. So Faye gave Mauricio and Kyle some helpful information about the psyche of battered women and a hungry Portia num nummed on a swatch of fabric.

We interrupt this recap for some Big Kathy Words of Wisdom: You never love a man as much as you love your children. That way you treat your children like appendages and the cycle of attachment and boundary issues remains unbroken!

NEXT: Buckle up cowgirls. It's party time.

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