The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: Down Some Slippery Slopes

The Creaky Beavers—thanks for that, Lisa!—hit Camille's ski chateau for some girl time. Kelsey bashing encouraged.
Ep. 02 | Aired Sep 12, 2011

MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER Kyle wants to find Kim and Camille some nice hairless gentlemen to keep them warm at night.

Together again, friends! Well we all know that this is going to be an odd season to recap, and an even trickier one to feel good about jeering from home. There's a ghoulish under layer to the show, and the tight cords in Taylor's neck scream out with scary alarm. But there are still moments of goofy ridiculousness—like Kim daydreaming aloud about the Disney lot, while sprawled on her belly on the back bench of a limo—to revel in, and strenuous image overhauls to call out. Camille has clearly rewatched the tapes of last season and she seems hellbent on presenting a softer side of herself. Those pink flannel jammies still had the creases in them from the store! Allegiances shift, sisters circle each other warily, gold extensions glitter. Let's get on with it folks and see if there's some harmless fun to be enjoyed.

The ladies' new openers made me laugh. Taylor claims to have found her voice and is not afraid to use it. (Isn't that Alex McCord's line?) Kyle might not be the richest of the bunch, but she's the luckiest! (7000 square feet lucky, plus Mauricio as handsome as ever.) Kim announces that she's one of a kind, which I believe. Camille picks freedom over diamonds if forced to choose, but her lawyer just assume she get both. Adrienne is as inoffensive as ever, encouraging everyone to work hard. Lisa, bragging that life in Beverly Hills is one big game but she makes up the rules, is making me nervous. You can feel the tide turning on the woman but I hereby declare my devotion to the blowsy gal. Yes, I need her to stop mouthing poor Giggy's snout like a Blow Pop and I do wish that she hadn't pouted when nobody complimented her Barbie ski bunny hat. But I think she's shrewd and authentic in a way that benefits the group. She's right to wonder over Taylor's cagey nature (what did happen in 1976, by the way?) and I think it was an uncool move on Kyle's part to bring up Ken's aversion to therapy on that endless limo ride. We all have soft spots for unlikely folks. I've got one for Miss Vanderfabulous.

Speaking of Kyle, I still root for her. I don't care that she lunged for Kim's little neck last season, or that she has an upsetting self-portrait in gilded frame, or that she picks on Kim's love of rhinestones. She seems like a nice Mom and she eats Hot Pockets on moving day and gets tape stuck to her little Ugg slipper and she offered to bunk with her sister so none of the other Housewives had to worry about accidentally touching each other during the night.

NEXT: Taylor cries to Kyle in the jacuzzi tub.

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