Sisters' progressive party on the Real Housewives! Kim started out the episode with a flurry of preparations for her sober nose party on her pool deck. That meant making sure the weary espresso bartender had plenty of ice and giving Kingsley the strong-arm when he tried to eat her nose mask again. It was kind of charming actually, seeing Kim get ready to welcome friends into her home. And did Kennedy and Portia ever turn it out for the occasion. They looked like mini Minnie Mouses and clutched shiny purses that carried their little pink plastic phones. That damn Andy Cohen still hadn't called them back with news of whether the network was going to green light their pitch for a Real Preschoolers of Beverly Hills.
Before the party hit its stride Taylor called Kim. The woman was ripped, and on her way to an airport with an unnamed gentleman. "I'm so happy and he loves Kennedy," she trilled like a sleepy canary into the phone while Kyle and Kim curled their hair and brushed their teeth at one another. Speaking of Kennedy... "Oh you have Kennedy with you?" Taylor said to Kyle. "Well take her. I'm coming back for the White Party." The sisters wanted clarification that Taylor, in the midst of getting bombed and falling in love, had clarification on the whereabouts of her vulnerable child. "No idea!" said Taylor.
This was a noxious, upsetting scene, especially as the cameras cut away to hollow-eyed Kennedy traipsing after Portia around the party. On Taylor's Bravo blog, she insists she'd made plans for Kennedy to stay with her parents that weekend and that Kyle in fact knew a set plan was already in place. Are there three sides to this story or, as Lisa insists, does truth only have one side? Here's some truth: For all of Kyle's flaws she is a mama bear with kids and she seems to have given Kennedy a soft place to fall throughout the series.
Things you'll only hear your host says at a Beverly Hills pool party: "I'm going to go see my new nose, then I'll bring it outside." Kim scurried off with Dr. Gregoryants, who brought a poreless, symmetrical statue as his date, to remove her nose mask. (Kyle couldn't resist peeking through the slats to get a sneak preview.) Adrienne insisted she was fine with the fact that Kim used somebody other than Paul to shave down her nose. That said, she left little stacks of Dr. Paul Nassif cards on the powder room sink and by the front door. Thinking of changing your nose, Marisa? She's got a doctor for that. When Kim scurried out onto the patio Kyle pounced on her while her friends oohed and aahed. The nose was a hit! I mean, listen to Adrienne's rave: "My husband would've done just as good a job but it looks beautiful."
NEXT: We've lived through three White Parties