The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: We Rrrrrrepresent Beverly Hills

"I just can't talk about this Brandi/Adrienne thing ever again," said Kyle. If only.
Ep. 12 | Aired Feb 4, 2013

FIND YOUR INNER FIREMAN Kyle climbed her stripper pole like a gym rope.

At the hospital, Kim researched her adorably odd and slightly ghoulish child doctor before she went under. "Are you happy today? Did you rest last night? Did you have a beautiful weekend?" What I would do for a spin-off show about a budding alien romance between these two. Good grief I could have done with less of the actual surgery scene though. Was that a faint blood stain on the blue wash cloth covering Kim's face?! Burn cut to Paul Nassif, M.D.'s office. Adrienne was sitting at his desk doing her nails, filling his space with the noxious smell of nail polish he so hates. "Could I sit at my desk?" snipped Paul. "It's a mess," barked back Adrienne. What could possibly make this scene more unappealing? Paul getting his back hair removed from a former Baywatch extra! "Got a weed whacker?" asked Adrienne. Paul flexed his pecs in a sad effort to counteract her heckling.

When Kim woozily woke from surgery, she told the good doc she was a little uncomfortable. "We'll give you some pain medications to help with pain. There's some medicines you can take home." Panic button! "The thought of Kim waking up alone in the hospital makes me feel bad," said Kyle. "I'd have liked to been there for her." Instead, it was time to shoot some tomato water in Vegas with the ladies. Oh Lisa, those platform heels again. No. Yolanda looked like Ashlee Simpson with that bang sweep. Poor Marisa, still not finding her groove, spilled some red wine on her white dress. Nobody touch it, she insisted, she knows a trick. Her mother once spilled red wine on her white pantsuit at a party and Barbra Streisand got it out with white wine. That didn't sound right at all but nevertheless she spent most of the evening in the powder room dabbing at her dress while crying to herself that the reason she never feels sexy is because she married that damn Deanie too young and never learned how to dance.

"I just feel bad about Adrienne," said Camille, apropos of nothing. Our Season 1 bitch is back! "She chooses," insisted Yolanda. "That's her choice. Period." There ensued a noisy kerfluffle about whether Camille told Brandi that she knew Paul and Adrienne were going to go after Lisa at the Reunion. "I can handle you," Camille finally snapped at Brandi, "but I will not stand for it. Stop lying!" Her pointy finger came out and all I could see was her telling Taylor at the tea party "That's not cool." Kyle talked Camille back to the table and Camille repeated her handle-not-stand line. What's the beef? Lisa wondered. Apparently this all boiled down to Adrienne's displeasure with Lisa over her Maloof Hoof jab and the fact that Pandora opted to party somewhere other than the Palms. Cue Brandi's lack of impulse control. "Adrienne only owns 2% of the Palms," she said unnecessarily. Kyle rightfully told her to simmer, and Camille surprisingly turned an evil eye on Lisa. "You don't own SUR," she countered.

Tension breaker: Ken got Giggy drunk off a sip of Gig-a-tini at home. The Vanderpump bar is rightfully bracketed by enormous lion sculptures.

NEXT: The 51%

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