The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: The Ladies Should Just Start Skipping Dinner

Brandi gets hammered again for that mysterious thing she said about Adrienne and Paul. Taylor gets hammered again.
Ep. 09 | Aired Jan 14, 2013

STFU Yo Mauricio. Lay off already.


Meanwhile Yolanda and Lisa were disgusted by Adrienne and Paul trying to intimidate Brandi with a lawsuit. "Getting lawyers is when you can't handle a discussion," said Yolanda. Marisa's very good-looking husband Dean Zanuck looked like he wished he'd made it a Blockbuster night. Mauricio started making noise that Brandi was in the wrong and it was up to her to repair the damage she wrought. Kyle announced that she wasn't going to get involved because she didn't want a fight, and then promptly couldn't resist getting involved.. "Now hold on a second," said Lisa, "wasn't it Adrienne who said over and over again 'Friends don't sue friends?'" Taylor gave a drunken Z snap, wondering why it was such a big deal in her case when she didn't even have a choice in the matter. At that point Kim snidely pointed out that Taylor could have walked away from that marriage at any point, which made Taylor very huffy. "I have always supported you Kim, so don't right now." Kim told Taylor that she was watching her and Yolanda tsk tsked Taylor's drunken aggression. Brandi just wants outta there, but Taylor needed her to stay and listen to her some more. Herewith her monologue: "I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to cry and I'm not going to walk away. I'm a different person now and we're going to sit here and we're not going to cry and we're not going to walk away and we're going to be single women who can get through whatever we're dealt with." At this she clutched Camille and a distracted Brandi's hands. "Listen! We're not going to walk away!" Please Taylor, just walk away.

Then Mauricio and Ken really started getting into it. Did Brandi say "it"—we better hear what "it" is at the Reunion—to be nice? Did she? Ken was being rather gallant, even if his defense of Brandi give Mauricio the opportunity to point out that a single woman like Brandi surely could be expected to handle herself." It was only a matter of time of hearing her indiscretion spoken about as if she wasn't there before Brandi demanded that Mauricio just STFU already. Um, awkward. "Who's ready for desert?" asked Marisa's husband, in the line of the night.

Next week: Mauricio is dead to Ken.

Well folks: This episode was boring, and I say that as statement not question. Ken's stock rises, Mauricio's falls, Kim's breasts are enormous, and I am never ever doing a master cleanse. Switch to seltzer Taylor.

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